153 (31.12.2014)

When drinking was a thing that was so new
That hangovers and stabbing pain weren't known
We shared a litre bottle just us two
And acted like we were both fully grown.
And drunkenness was like a brand new world,
That came to us and sparkled in our eyes
And all our inhibitions they were hurled
Into the darkness of the passing skies.
But now my drink and me are far removed
And vomiting and headaches are all gone
As are the simple truths that drinking proved
And all the little lights that from me shone.
Though paralytic is no more for me,
I still do miss that changed reality.

152 (30.12.2014)

I do not know where all the days they go
It's like they slip away and then they're gone
And memories are all we have to show
For all the things we did and what went on.
But that's not really true though, is it now?
For when we make some things don't they remain
There to be touched and felt by us somehow
Even just as some sparks inside the brain?
So though I think my time it slips away
I also think it's with me all the while
And everything important done today
When captured here will always make me smile.
So days they come and quickly disappear,
But somehow in my head they still feel near.

151 (29.12.2014)

Thinking is fun so let me think today
About the world and all about my life,
About how when my thoughts they run astray
I always find them settled round my wife.
It's not that I don't care about the world
It's just that love fills up all of the space
Around which all my other thoughts are curled
And seems to put them all back in their place.
So thoughts of love and you they all expand
And other thoughts about the world decrease
And though there's things I'd like to understand
I think of you and my mind is at peace.
So I try hard to think a thought that's new
But all my thoughts they scurry back to you.

150 (28.12.2014)

I'm sitting now inside my favourite room
The room in which at last I'm left in peace
Where I can concentrate and can resume
This work I hope that I will never cease.
Outside the door all chaos runs amok
The children squabble, fight, then start to cry
But I don't care 'cause this doors got a lock
And they can't get in even if they try.
My wife is outside with them so they're fine
She's quite good at controlling them as well
Especially when she's had a glass of wine
To soothe the edges of the place we dwell.
The writer sits upon his throne and thinks,
And no one comes into the room, it stinks.

149 (27.12.2014)

If this becomes my last day here on earth
I'd hope to spend each minute as I should
I'll write these words out now, for what they're worth,
Then maybe try and do the world some good.
But good is not an easy thing to do,
There's friends and kids I'd like to bid farewell
And also spend a bit more time with you,
Before I start my journey down to hell.
So though I wish the whole world all the best,
I think the great temptation it would be
To just forget about all of the rest
And end up doing good for only me.
For when it's time to draw our final breath,
What are we more than living proof of death?

148 (26.12.2014)

The Christmas day is done and dusted now
But still the dust of love it covers all.
We play with toys that seem to care somehow,
And look outside to see if snow will fall.
But eyes are turned towards another year
For New Year's eve is five short days away
And then at last the future will be here
And we can turn our backs on yesterday.
So Witness this: the way time trundles on
As one day follows one and then the next
Today arrives and all too fast is gone
And no tomorrow does what one expects.
So last year slowly drifts into the past,
And next year keeps approaching all too fast.

147 (25.12.2014)

The clueless baby sitting on the bed
Does not quite understand what presents are
She likes the wrapping paper best instead
And thinks the disused boxes are a car.
Her brothers and her sister understand
And revel in the joy of Christmas day
The time for present giving is at hand
They open up their gifts and long to play.
The sky is blue the weather bright and clear
The Christmas bells reflect the shining sun
Without a doubt the best day of the year
For families and children having fun.
The parents spent more than they can afford,
But joy-filled, priceless love is their reward.

146 (24.12.2014)

Enough of all this sentimental tosh
Christmas is just a brand new name for greed
We teach the children to be snobs and posh
And spare no thought for those on earth in need.
So where is Jesus in all of this mess,
Did he not throw the money changers out?
And should we not be honest and confess
That Love is all this day should be about?
So gather round the family let us toast
This darkest winter's day that's filled with light
That's filled with thoughts for friends we love the most
And shines a brilliant beacon in the night.
The money lenders fill the world with greed,
But peace and love and light is all we need.

145 (23.12.2014)

Children on the stage with shining faces,
Their parents watching, nervous, from afar
iphones at the ready, changing places
To catch the perfect picture of their star.
Billy's playing Joseph, Wendy's Mary,
Her little brother Henry plays a sheep
Smiling they all say that it's not scary,
It's better than to be back home asleep.
Here to tell the tale of baby Jesus,
They're here to spread the word of peace and love,
See how hard the children try to please us,
They're angels sent to earth from heav'n above.
And spellbound parents, teary eyed, all smile,
As Love walks out amongst us for a while.

144 (22.12.2014)

The winter solstice passed us yesterday,
And now we look towards a lighter place,
The Christmas tree so shiny, bright and gay
Reflects its dreams and hopes in every face.
Our tree is only plastic but it still
Makes everything much nicer in this room
With all the joys of Christmas it does fill
Our hearts and chase away the winter's gloom.
Next year I want the same as I have now
A loving home and simple family life
The chance to earn my daily bread somehow
Without the need for turmoil, stress or strife.
The good, the fun, the positive I'll get,
The bad, the dull, the negative forget.

143 (21.12.2014)

He lost his power in legal battles
Becoming weak and old before his time
When he speaks to me his voice it rattles
Through grates inside my head that conjure rhyme.
I want to speak to him about some things
But, as I try the words, the question fails
I want to ask why life runs round in rings
And often we search circles for our tails.
I'd like a moment's peace and quiet with you
My father who died many years ago
Because a love had broke your heart in two
And now there's nothing left of it to show.
Oh father can you hear me as I talk,
And are you here beside me as I walk?

142 (20.12.2014)

Let me confess I can no more be free
Let me confess this cage I've landed in
Let me confess this prison made by thee
And by the love you've sewn beneath my skin.
I live not but for your sweet gentle grace
I live not but for your sweet gentle smile
I long to see the way it lights your face
And bathes the world in heaven for a while.
So willing I am now to be enslaved
That I would give you all that I can give
And know that by this giving I am saved
And by the death of freedom that I live.
Strange liberties grow deep inside anew,
The more I subjugate myself to you.

141 (19.12.2014)

Hi Mr D how is it off in Greece?
In England now the weather's grim and grey
When over there does all your wanting cease,
Do you feel more at peace from day to day?
I miss you much and miss our friendly talks
And miss the pleasure of your company
I miss our up and downhill little walks
And all the clever things you're teaching me.
I've had some ups and downs myself this week
Been letting myself go a little mad,
Trying to work out who is Tony Peek
But now all's well and good and I am glad.
Those things that yesterday filled me with dread,
They now release endorphins in my head.

140 (18.12.2014)

There's a game we play called Russian Roulette
It's a bit like gambling but much more fun
You get some bullets and then make a bet
And you each take turns to fire the gun.
It's not that hard, my father played the game,
No need to question what you want to do,
I think he took some pills but it's the same
The winner is the one whose life's first through.
Explain to me how you can sleep at night
With all of these things unbalancing us
D'you really not care? D'you think it's alright,
To watch our love slowly fill up with puss?
On all fours waiting for him on our bed,
Can't get these images out of my head.

139 (17.12.2014)

Don't you think that by now you ought to know
When I say "I'm ok," that it's a lie?
If you don't want to be with me then go
At least no one can say we didn't try.
Because I told you to... it's still betrayal
I thought you'd have the sense to realise that
I get off on the fear that we will fail
For me the pain and suffering's where it's at.
We both know things are never black and white
They're often shades of grey and too complex
I might be going mad but I'm alright
I love the thoughts of you and him and sex.
Things'll be ok, I'm sure and maybe,
I'll be fine and won't break like a baby.

138 (16.12.2014)

Sweet stabbing knives that rip my insides out,
And delving claws that tear my heart to shreds
It gives me something to obsess about
And fills blank spaces inside both our heads.
I want you to do this thing but I don't
Understand how you could do it to me.
I really want you just to say you won't
Although I've said you can and that you're free.
It makes me stronger, toughens up my frown,
It gives me things to write about a lot
Let's build a monument then burn it down
It's hard to know what's right until it's not.
God gave us free will so we all could choose,
But sometimes any way you go you lose.

137 (15.12.2014)

Be careful, someone's turning you away.
Feel it? Suicide buttons being pushed.
They said "You should do it" and "It's Ok."
Then when it seems alright you'll get ambushed.
Do this to me now but please don't do it
Go ahead please I want you to but don't
It's fine I promise I don't mind a bit
Tell me you will but please tell me you won't.
You say you have no choice and then you choose
And all the time he's urging you to go
But if you fail this test then you will lose
So don't go rushing into things be slow...
It only takes a second to be through
He'll push and push and blame it all on you.

136 (14.12.2014)

Into the blund'ring world of statistics
I raise my hand and ask questions of you
Like what's the odds on us being spastics
And throwing away all the love we knew?
Say five to one, but two to one is less,
Or is it evens that we will survive?
Forty-seven percent divorce God-bless
The little lovers trying to survive.
You walk down the street thinking about this
You're all alone and only want to cry
And half these couples when they stop and kiss
Might just as well be kissing sweet goodbye.
But I think that the odds are on our side,
When I told you "...I need a break." I lied.

135 (13.12.2014)

Though I'm a truly happy, happy man
Who runs a fairly steady, boring course
And always tries to do the best he can
I know I have a tendency to force
Weird situations on myself at times,
And these often go spinning from control
And leave me eager to commit strange crimes
As if my self destruction were my goal.
This used to turn me on but things have changed
And now I try to guard myself instead
And suicidal thoughts I've rearranged
And changed to healthy things inside my head.
So though I walk the world just as before, 
I've learnt to love myself a little more.

134 (12.12.2014)

Sweet torture is this thing that burns tonight
Lie with you naked, but your mind is gone
No instigation, I say "It's alright..."
But somehow we both know that you've moved on.
Where did we stumble dear, where did we fall?
How have things changed, when really they're the same?
Your thoughts have gone astray and there's a wall
Round passions in your mind I can't reclaim.
I tell you all day long how much I crave
To be with you but in our bed you yawn
And say "I'm feeling sleepy, just behave..."
Then turn away from me with gentle scorn,
And mention in your sweet, practical way,
"...I can't be turned on by you both all day."

133 (11.12.2014)

It is by acts and not ideas we live
So is an act of thought just an idea?
If I was here and had nothing to give
Would all my thoughts and actions disappear?
So can you help me please Anatole France
I want to understand just what you mean
Is everything in life a plan or chance,
Can I do something that makes me feel clean?
I wish I was a lovely shining star
All beautiful and bright way over head
I'd like to be beyond where we all are
But then, of course, I'd already be dead.
Oh Anatole, you know sometimes I feel,
That neither acts nor ideas are for real.

132 (10.12.2014)

See this beautiful and glorious day
The sun streaks golden yellow on the trees
I drive through country lanes and far away
Between the dancing shadows on my knees.
I hope that I can fill this day with joy
I want to use each minute like a year
But I know that my wishes I destroy,
And that I make most good things disappear.
I hold you close then push you far from me,
I need you here but want to be alone.
I have so many problems and I see
Unless I'm careful all I do is moan.
Let days unfold, I do the best I can
If only I was more than just a man.

131 (09.12.2014)

There's nothing like when crowns are finally done
And I can once again write what I want
And I can mess around and have some fun
Rhyme with 'want'? Let's think, 'débutante' or 'font'?
Who cares I'm allowed a day off once in
A while. Just see how long it takes before
Things get serious again and my sin
And my life and my death and so much more
Announce themselves and make me write of them
And conjure thoughts inside my swelling head
That set me free but do myself condemn
To stop playing with rhyme but work instead
Get thoughts from brain and into time and space,
And try to leave the world a better place.

130 (08.12.2014)

The sonnet crown is dusted down and done
The day has sewn its secrets to the wind
And now is darkest, dark where shone the sun
And all alone the lonely world is pinned.
And each and every man in nature's flame
And each and every race that is their own
They speak for all but one, and in their name
Look back and wonder where the past has flown.
Today I left my sonnet book at work,
And post one-thirty was all but complete,
I realised, and feeling like a jerk
I had to make these instantaneous feet.
Sometimes, you know, well that's just nature's way,
Only tomorrow do we get today.

129 (07.12.2014)

All nature's undisputed queen and king,
How can we not bow down to so much grace
All beauty that surrounds our everything,
From oldest obstacle to youngest face.
Lions and lambs and rocks and sand bow down
We all sing Hallelujah with one voice,
Which rattles from the stars and through the town
And through each side of every wasted choice.
What words will not fall short of your complex-
ity? What voice be heard to rival thine?
All nature far beyond what man detects,
Reflects in every eye that blesséd shine.
Of untold powers we know to be true
Sweet nature let me make a crown for you.

128 (06.12.2014)

Seeds and thoughts of love that God has planted
Which grow inside the minds of all men here
Leaves them blessed or sometimes disenchanted
And filled with nature's glory or with fear.
And nature floats around each caverned eye
And deep inside the jelly swimming fish
It strings up to the compass in the sky
And answers all the questions of a wish.
I saw the sea this morning calm as ice,
And saw the sun that danced on sheets of glass
I heard as nature bellowed its advice
Into the gloom of all the ears that pass.
"Those humbled laws they pound with just one thing,
All nature's undisputed queen and king."

127 (05.12.2014)

And nature will reflect all that I've known
And all my memories be filled with love
For I am part of nature like a phone
A conduit for the music from above.
So take me in your arms sweet winter's sun
And spin me round your universal realm
For I have no idea when day's begun
Nor which of us is seated at the helm.
I think I have a body and some thought
I think I understand things that I know
I think that I can learn when I am taught
I think all pleasures' pleasing when they show.
Bowed and crushed but not taken for granted.
Seeds and thoughts of love that God has planted,

126 (04.12.2014)

Fall silent when by nature overcome
But watch the sea, see how it screams and shouts,
And sets the world for sorrow when it pouts
And banters on the boat like it's a drum.
Let all of nature crush my burning thumb
Let winds and raining storms fill me with doubts
The world, the soul, the wrinkled head of droughts
Let all combine to stop me feeling numb.
And I will search for peace amongst the trees
And I will lie on bone beneath the sea
And I will pass through heaven all alone
And I will then be lifted from my knees
And I will have permission just to be
And nature will reflect all that I've known.

125 (03.12.2014)

The world is infinite variety
Sweet nature's hand is copious past words
The humblest twig is blessed with piety
The greatest psalm bows down to chorused birds.
While nature leads a merry dance with men
The wind whistles the names of fallen dreams,
We pick them up and gather them and then,
We throw them to the accident of schemes.
I hold my hand and beg for nature's bliss
I lie beneath the scaffold of all love
From tangled star to sacred serpent's kiss
I long to see through science from above.
I yearn to express magnitude but dumb,
Fall silent when by nature overcome.

124 (02.12.2014)

I humbly write for you as best I can
A semi-futile gesture though, I guess
For what chance has a solitary man
To find the words for so much loveliness?
All nature from the boundless realms of space
To dancing atoms deep in grains of sand
From every crinkled, crying, newborn face
To every wrinkled, dying, ancient hand.
Muriel said, "Can't you see all the leaves?"
I said "They're green." and all she did was laugh,
It's true sometimes, you know, the eye deceives,
I search for colours scattered on the path.
She says "Look closer, surely you can see...
The world is infinite variety."

123 (01.12.2014)

Sweet nature let me make a crown for you.
From farthest reaches stretch your powerful hands
Beneath the brilliant skies of azure blue
Through deepest seas and driest desert sands.
The sun comes up and shines upon us all
The winters send a chill into each bone
Sweet noises hit our ears and then they fall
On softest mossy banks or hardest stone.
And wind, the wind, the wind sweet nature's breath
So terrible and filled with such relief
It seems the subtle instrument of death
And leaves us filled with happiness or grief.
All nature so much mightier than all man,
I humbly write for you as best I can.

122 (30.11.2014)

Another month draws to its close today
The town is bathed in thick November fog
Somewhere the Christmas bells warm up to play
While someone, somewhere posts upon a blog.
Today has been a calm and glorious day
I ran back home via town from H&B
It's funny how the minutes slip away
But we stay here and now so constantly.
I've tidied up and washed the kitchen floor,
Had lots of hugs from my kids and my wife,
Sometimes it's hard to not just stand in awe
And thank the world for such a lovely life.
It's days like this that really let me know,
How much I'll miss this place when called to go.

121 (29.11.2014)

Enough of all this sordidness I quit
I want to watch sweet flowers bloom again
And feel a little warmth, and gentle wit
And think of things that no-one can explain.
Poppy, White Lily, Purple Tulip, Rose
The summer sun, a warming gentle breeze
The feel of lapping waves upon my toes
A gust of wind a joyful, raucous sneeze.
Perhaps it's time to start another ring
Yet not of Love or Sin but nature's wealth,
Put by these thoughts that such confusions bring
And wallow in the universe itself.
Have to remember so I'll write it down,
1st of December start new sonnet crown.

120 (28.11.2014)

The brain, the brain, the brain drives me insane
It's filled me up with images of you
That float in me like I'm an empty drain
Stuck in the ground with nothing else to do.
With nothing else to do but think about
The things that you get up to when I'm gone
And what happens in bed when I am out,
And when he'll find the things that turn you on.
So my imagination's running wild
And you are slim and arching in my mind
And I'm left whimpering like a little child
Who wants to look but's scared of what he'll find.
Then afterwards I come and lick you clean
And hope that you will treat me nice and mean.

119 (27.11.2014)

I'm part of you and you are part of me
So when you do what you do I do too,
There's nothing that you look at I don't see
Nothing you taste that I don't taste with you.
So everything you do you're not alone
And when you're taking I'm taking as well,
And when it's in your mouth my mouth is stone
And when you come you might just hear me yell.
I listen best when I'm not listening,
I speak the best when my mouth's firmly shut
I lick your lips best when they're glistening
And when you're writhing like a little slut.
So I'll be there when you are there with him
And when he's pounding on your gentle quim.

118 (26.11.2014)

May boils and blisters burn upon your face
May both your knees be crippled in a car
May all you’ve earned be stained by foul disgrace
May all your kids be tortured where you are.
May stress and terror follow where you turn
May screeching agonies plague upon your tongue
May all that you hold sacred crash and burn
May cancer grab you while you are still young.
Let these my curses land upon your head
Let these my curses settle in your soul
Let these my curses double when you’re dead
Let these my curses rage beyond control.
From now your life is suffering and pain
And when you die I pray it starts again.

117 (25.11.2014)

Let me begin by placing words in lines
And trying to think about my world today
These complicated things that life defines
They come along and then they fade away.
I have emotions bouncing in me too
They come and go like little wisps of wind
They lift me up when I am feeling blue,
Or dislocate me when my hopes are binned.
So up and down a roller coaster ride
I travel round in circles through the years
One moment filled with arrogance and pride
The next consumed by cowardice and fears.
Yes being human is a bit like this,
A search for eight beatitudes and bliss.

116 (24.11.2014)

Black silhouette of trees against the sky
The blue of childhood fashioned behind cloud
The wispy weight of brightest days gone by
A flaming yellow, burning, orange shroud.
I want the world to be like this again
For winter days to beautifully depart
Beneath the silver, sliver moon explain
About the words tattooed inside your heart
'Cause what else is there in the world to do
But contemplate the sunset going down
Alone we stand and wonder at the view
As darkness spreads its fingers through the town.
Another day now dusted beyond change,
Has slipped into the past and out of range.

115 (23.11.2014)

How do I get this album off my phone?
Fucking U2 who do they think they are?
How dare they come to me when I'm alone,
And jump out of the speakers in my car.
We've all got something that we want to sell,
So did they have to pay to get that done?
It brings to mind corruption and the smell
Of wealthy men who wish the poor had fun,
Who want to show the world how much they care,
And want to make sure everyone can see
That charity begins when people share
And there's no end to generosity.
Millionaires who work sometimes pro bono
Fuck your songs and get them off my phono.

114 (22.11.2014)

Hi Sebastian, are you thinking of me?
I'm thinking of you right now and miss you.
Wish we could go for a swim in the sea,
Or for a run and this time I'll beat you,
Or maybe not, but I might do one day.
From children's mouths come truthful words and pain,
At the station you said "You could just stay..."
And you and Olie ran beside the train,
And then your dad was gone into the dark
And your brother and you walked home alone
To your mum's flat across the windy park,
And waited many days for me to phone.
And I was just iniquity and sin,
With devils burning nails beneath my skin.

113 (21.11.2014)

This is the end of all that was before,
And all that's still to come has fallen through
A gap between the spaces in the floor
That just appeared as I was leaving you.
And there were things that I tried to disguise
And there were feelings somewhere in between
That both of us had failed to recognize
That might have helped us if they had been seen
But we were just too stupid and unkind,
And now, though we are trying, it's all gone
And even though we search we'll never find
The thing that made us smile when looked upon,
And gave a joyful meaning to it all.
So now we stumble blindly and we fall.

112 (20.11.2014)

Now take that crown from off my head and let
Me mess around, because I have been think-
Ing too much lately and now I want some
Fun. What can I use to rhyme with 'think'? Ink.
I am so sick of love right now that I
Will not write those four letters for a while
Though it be blazoned all across the sky
I will not say the word but simply smile.
Don't I deserve a day when I just sit
And use words just because I like the sound
And like the noise they make when I just spit
And like when they so easily wrap around
My tongue when I am writing things for you,
And hoping that your brain enjoys them too.

111 (19.11.2014)

For where all else is lost, there love is found
And in the emptiness of life is light
And though there may be darkness all around
And fear and terror lurking in the night
Yet still love glides between all living things
And circles round the stars and through the air
And hope and happiness it gently brings
And plenty of itself for all to share.
So now I've tried to praise these things in man
I've made a little crown but must confess,
That though I've struggled on as best I can
There's things on earth I still wish to express
Like when an angel's tears fall from above...
So let's write seven sonnets about love.

110 (18.11.2014)

Since love, not death, will finally conquer all
We need not fear when trembling age ensues
And claws our eyes when we begin to fall
Into the chasm of the things we lose.
That love is smiling far above my head
And deep inside my deepest heart of hearts
Is comfort to me as I lie in bed
And listen gently as the day departs.
So love is solid comfort for me now
And love stops time from ticking out in space
And answers every question why and how
And disappears from view without a trace.
So love is in and out and all around,
For where all else is lost, there love is found.

109 (17.11.2014)

That love exists without the need of men
Is deftly said but difficult to prove,
Yet close your eyes and open them again
Are things the same or did the world just move?
The world revolves around a falling star
And that star falls through holes in outer space
In search of all the places where you are
And where all lovers long for your embrace.
And your embrace is like a blazing light
That shines outwards and in at the same time
And causes dark to be the whitest white
And merely mortal men to be sublime.
It matters not exactly how we fall
Since love, not death, will finally conquer all.

108 (16.11.2014)

That love's just chemicals inside the brain
Is often claimed by geriatric fools
Who think that love's just something taught in schools
And dreamers are ostensibly inane.
Then scientists to idiots explain
That like most quirks in weak genetic pools
All love conforms quite simply to the rules
And will be quashed when logics finally reign.
Neurotransmitters know I touch your hand,
And light the tiny stars behind your eyes
Which blaze across the universe and then
Leave scientists too dumb to understand,
And too earthbound to ever realise
That love exists without the need of men.

107 (15.11.2014)

Because its taste's so bitter and so sweet
Your love's like an addictive drug I'm on
Against which I have no chance to compete
I just think of your face and I am gone.
I'm floating on a wave of Crystal-meth
The ghost of morphine comes to sap my soul,
I hover between loving you and death
I'm lost in love and have no self control.
So I'm a junky whore and love's a drug,
And you're the heroine I must obey,
My smitten heart's a bullying pusher thug
And I must do what my emotions say.
Some people think, though I know they're insane,
That love's just chemicals inside the brain.

106 (14.11.2014)

All love is doubled when it's shared with two
And when once given is then twice returned
But feelings that I feel when close to you
At times can leave me just a bit concerned...
If you're more precious to me than the air
Then one day will I just forget to breathe?
If nothing else but you consumes my care
Then what would happen to me if you leave?
Would I be left a sad and trembling fool
Alone with my reflection in the night,
And wondering how a world so dark and cruel
Had once been filled with loving's tender light.
But maybe that's why love is such a treat,
Because its taste's so bitter and so sweet.

105 (13.11.2014)

So let's write seven sonnets about love
Starting today, for reasons I don't know
And wear them like a crown up high above
The heart where all my feelings start to show.
A little flicker from your softest eyes
A movement from your lips and I am gone
When I'm with you at last I recognise
The doubts I've crucified myself upon.
I spoon with you and cuddle up at night
There is a beacon shining in my life
You make the darkest, heaviest burdens light
Surrounding '...if...' is '...we...' my lovely wife.
Through ups and downs I walk this world with you
All love is doubled when it's shared with two.

104 (12.11.2014)

So what on earth’s a sonnet anyway?
A line or two of someone else’s thought,
In my school all I ever did was play
I just read books while all the rest got taught.
So what’s a sonnet then? Just fourteen lines,
Ten syllables in each and not a sy-
Llable more. Then you need some sort of rhymes
Or half rhymes are acceptable, maybe.
But rhymes and words are not really the point
It’s more an exorcism of your heart
Or if life’s expectations disappoint
A way to pick this sorry world apart.
You’ll write a sonnet far better than me
If you show clearly what’s inside of thee.

103 (11.11.2014)

I've greeted this day with a great big smile
With cheery good "Good morning!"s to you all
I've had a lovely day so far and while
I'm up I think that I will never fall.
The sun is shining and the sky is blue
The weather's perfect for this time of year
The only problem is I'm far from you
The world would be more brilliant were you here.
I wish that I could be with you right now
But time will pass and you will come back soon
I'd like to tell the world exactly how
My life with you's more precious than the moon.
Today has been the first in many days
To pass inside a gentle happy haze.

102 (10.11.2014)

I'm standing on a cliff and want to jump
I think angels will guide me gently down
But if I land with bloodied deadly bump
Then won't I look just like a stupid clown?
Can someone push me off so I can fly?
Or failing that get smashed upon the ground
I wish that I were brave enough to try
I'd like to be an angel flapping around.
If only I believed there was a point
A reason I should try to try again
That did not put my conscience out of joint
Or hit my psyche like a speeding train.
I'm scared to stay but also scared to go,
Often I doubt the things I think I know.

101 (09.11.2014)

If strangers came to England and did this:
Threw babies onto burning open fires
And taught that "...subjugation leads to bliss."
While cutting noses off with ragged pliers
Said "Heaven is for those who kindly wait."
And cut off ears and lips just for some fun
Preached that "the meek are first through heaven's gate"
And tortured millions saying "Thy will be done."
If armies came and blew our world to bits
And left us all belittled with remorse
And gouged out eyes and cut off women's tits.
Would we not wish for greater military force?
If silence brings us to a world of peace,
Then let it last and last and never cease.

100 (08.11.2014)

For you I write this hundredth sonnet now
My friend who's reading this somewhere today
A message from behind my furrowed brow
Through time and space to you from yesterday.
And everyone who ever raised a pen
And wrote ten syllables on fourteen lines
From Shakespeare to the meekest of all men
That wrestled words from heads like they were mines.
One thousand lines and then four hundred more
And fourteen thousand syllables all gone
But every day I revel in my chore
And love to think the thoughts I think upon.
From August till this cold November's day
A path of sonnets helped me on my way.

99 (07.11.2014)

Behind a film inside my eyes lies this:
Magnificent destruction of mankind
Unquenchable the silent serpent's hiss
Till all is gone and nothing's left to find.
And close the screamer's mouth or cut his tongue
A thousand times as cruel and crueler still
Behold the ghastly murder of the young,
Until there is none living left to kill.
First blasted on a burning fire of pain
Then drowned inside a boiling vat of tears,
While bleeding severed hands try to explain
This ghostly repetition to the years.
If we choose then we can make suffering cease
And man can live forever in glorious peace.

98 (06.11.2014)

Am I mental self deluding cock?
Am I a fool with my head up my arse?
Do I deserve my head upon the block?
Should I have my face stabbed with broken glass?
Just fold your ears up when you hear me call,
Turn blind away when I'm about to drown
Just give a gentle push and watch me fall
Inside my noose, from tallest tower in town.
Come make the world go black before my eyes,
Come take this burden from my bleeding hands
Will I be gone before you realise
The simple things that no one understands,
If you don't like the food just shoot the chef,
It's got to be his fault that you are deaf.

97 (05.11.2014)

At times all words seem strange and out of place
As though they don't exist or are not true
Like some strange mask that's placed upon a face
Distorting all realities from view.
A line of letters placed upon a line,
All muddled up as if they're being words,
As if they are a light that we can shine,
Into the place where God is counting birds.
I die at night time when I close my eyes,
My tongue sees things that I don't understand
Into the moonlit night our language flies,
When all alone we focus on the land.
I bless the words that spill out on the page,
As though they are the opening of a cage.

96 (04.11.2014)

Broken I am but I know not what's wrong
The world it twists upon a yellow heel
Somewhere a voice echoes it can't be long
Before it's time to have the big reveal.
The colour yellow is my true love's hair,
Blue is the colour of the melting skies
Little they know, the people who do care
How scared the world looks through these sorryed eyes.
When all the world is run by civil law
And all we know is war concealed in peace
Does this mean things are better than before
If we close up our eyes and seeing cease?
Today is such a blue and sunny day,
Why is it I see nothing but decay?

95 (03.11.2014)

When war's a hungry dog with baying teeth
Whose eyes are burning fire in the night
And we hear voices call from far beneath
Our stumbling feet that stuck impede our flight.
We danced into the darkness fellow man
We did what we were told that we should do
We went along with someone else's plan
And never stopped to think it carefully through.
King in parlour counts his bread and honey,
Queen balanced on a jar to calm her nerve
Princes in their chamber eating money
It's hard to hit those targets when they swerve.
I try by best to not let feelings stray,
The life you've got's too good to throw away.

94 (02.11.2014)

Have I told you lately that I love you?
Or told you that you're all that's in my heart?
Said "...I love..." when really I don't have to?
Since you know I exist not when we part.
Hold my hand and I can feel completeness
Within your reach I am entire and whole
But if you leave, crumbling in my weakness,
I am a ghost without a living soul.
Rest with me and love me till forever
Come stitch your life with mine eternally
Time can try its hardest but will never
Come close to breaking what I feel for thee
The seasons shift, they come and then they leave,
But love remains the same when hearts believe.

93 (01.11.2014)

Things they fall to pieces all around me
The dishwasher is gone, the fridge is broke
Hear the news and think that it's just funny
The way the world is going up in smoke.
The TV's smashed the toilet's got a leak
And three of my guitar strings broke last night
There's something wrong with being Tony Peek
He broke his nose at boxing in a fight.
In summer my feet crack but now their soft
Old socks and shoes they keep the sweat about,
The rats have bit through wires in the loft
And now it's dark 'cause all the lights are out.
There's too much going on inside me head,
I might just call it quits and go to bed.

92 (31.10.2014)

Were it not for the beauty of your eyes
Were it not for your elegance and grace
My days would not be filled with wounded sighs
And hours longing just to see you face.
I suppose that we could Skype and that might work
Or I could send a SnapChat of my tears
But I don't want you thinking I'm a jerk
Or knowing that I've had too many beers.
I'm trying to control myself, but drunk
It's hard to stop my fingers texting you,
I just want to explain the thoughts I've thunk
And how I see the future for us two.
'Cos I still can't believe you're really gone,
Or that you've found another and moved on.

91 (30.10.2014)

A day off now's the only thing I need
Leave all those Vampires in their orange nest
Just try your hardest, effort will succeed
All you can do is do your very best.
Perhaps I'll read a book or go to bed
But when I close my eyes I see them there
They're bouncing up and down inside my head
Or laughing doing cartwheels in the air.
Forget those creatures they're all gone for now
They've floated off and it's time to let go
It doesn't really matter anyhow
What happens next there's none can every know.
So let the Vampires float off in the night,
Tomorrow's Halloween so just sleep tight.

90 (29.10.2014)

I need the music that's a bit too loud,
That's just touching my ears a bit too hard
That drenches me just like a heavy cloud
That steals my soul and knocks me off my guard.
Turn up, turn up, turn up and harm my ear
I want to hear that buzzing when I'm home
And go to bed with your voice ringing clear
Inside this empty, knuckle-headed dome.
Come burn me with a noise so loud I break,
Disintegrate me till I'm lost in space
Obliterate me till I start to shake
Come make the flesh melt from my putrid face.
Turn up, turn up, turn up and knock me down
Sweet volume come corrupt this soulless clown.

89 (28.10.2014)

Whip off a sonnet at breakneck speed and
Put it online for all the world to see
And one day they will, it has all been planned,
Have a little faith in the mind of me.
Outside the grey rain splatters on the ground
Each rain drop trying as hard as it can
Not to be water but famous and found
Nothing is hard when the sea is your fan.
So name someone famous, anyone you like,
They'll be more in the world that know them not
You don't believe me, then get on your bike,
Ask about some cultures that time forgot.
Relativism, we've discussed before,
I'm pretty famous in the pub next door.

88 (27.10.2014)

Hot soup all burning steamed inside a cup
A child is laughing high up in the way,
Song on the radio says "...never give up..."
But my feats feature feet of crumbling clay.
Not me, not me, not me it's not me now,
It's someone else who really, really cares
Who really wants to understand just how
Each sparrow's falling's lost on counted hairs.
And when the wind pushes a branch outside,
And when the sun reflects us in its tear
Can it be wrong to see the world with pride
When we are part of all things far and near.
The wind inside a hot cup screaming wild,
The branching sun reflects a cheerless child.

87 (26.10.2014)

For all reviews and praise and things to come
I write this now just so that you can see
There's no such thing as instantaneous fun
Between great works and vast posterity.
These words are grabbing needles in the brain
And once they're read or heard they'll never go
They're lodged inside and won't disperse again
Although it may take years for them to show.
But keep returning to your head they will,
Until you know there's nothing you can do
You won't be satisfied or rest until
You've heard them once again and seen they're true.
I long to use the phrase "...pearls before swine..."
But no one reads these pearls, they're only mine.

86 (25.10.2014)

I miss you when I haven't got my phone
It makes me want to just break down and cry
It's just the little things, an occasional moan
That make the days more pleasant as they fly.
I want to show you things happening today
The vineyard leaves are gradually turning gold
The astro-turf consumed in hissing spray,
As slowly, slowly, slow the day grows old.
If I did have my phone right now I'd call
And ask what you were up to with the kids
I'd like to be there right now with you all
But jumping time and space, the world forbids.
I'm leaving here though, in an hour or two,
And soon I'll be back home with kids and you.

85 (24.10.2014)

When all ambitions fade and thoughts despair
When all the world is grey and full of cloud
I hold your hand remembering I care
And I am once again happy and proud.
I hold the little hands that shrink in mine
I lift the little bodies in my arms
I feel something unearthly and divine
And everything inside me gently calms.
I speak to them and try hard just to play
I try hard to forget the adult me
I build a world of Lego for a day
And turn the bathtub into open sea.
I want to be a child again for you
And see the world as if all things were new.

84 (23.10.2014)

Dear Mr Twangy my magical friend
Come sit still now and watch the world with me.
See all these people, rushing to an end
I know that when you sing it makes you free,
It's the same for me, it's like I'm not there.
Some people listen and some just ignore
Wealth is to give when there's nothing to share
Misers are always the poorest of poor.
I hear you blessing your six shiny strings
Healing the mic with your raggedy voice
The giving that you give, gives heaven wings
All done on purpose, though you have no choice.
Oh Mr Twangy invincible star
All light in the world begins where you are.

83 (22.10.2014)

I have to write a sonnet now but I
Am pretty tired it's been a long, long day
Sometimes I am so happy I could cry
And other times I wallow in dismay.
No views, no views, no views nothing to lose
No chance that anyone really gives a shit
So I'll write what I want and what I choose
And know that no one else is reading it.
So this is what I'd like to say to you,
The me that's reading this in future time,
The things you treasure most I'm trying to do
The hardest things are often most sublime.
D'you see the date above this little verse?
You're fit and well and things could be much worse.

82 (21.10.2014)

Think I've got a theory about my head
And the struggles of my beautiful mind
Think my body would quite like to be dead
And not have to bother being mankind.
And so, to this end, it leads me astray
Attempting to defile this sacred house
It leads me to wrong every single day,
Stampeding elephant controlled by mouse.
Poor little mouse mind really has to work
Very, very hard to control this oaf
This earth driven maniac, stupid jerk
That's trying so hard to destroy us both.
So come on little mouse mind take control
Teach the idiot body the strength of soul.

81 (20.10.2014)

Into the silent tomb the sun is arched
Its back is spread out on the tables here,
The spaces in the room where dust has marched
Like glitter they embrace the morning clear.
I did not come to this place just for fun
Nor did I come with sense of dread and toil
But just to know my working day's begun
And from a distance watch these things uncoil.
For all I need is silence and some peace
The gently shuffled papers undisturbed,
The concentrated mind makes moments cease,
Where shadows in the room lay unperturbed.
The world is never cruel or too unkind
When all is peace and quiet in the mind.

80 (19.10.2014)

Her name is Jade and she has some tattoos
None of them green, ironically enough.
She works in Tescos sometimes stacking shoes
From eight till five she does all sorts of stuff.
She's got a boyfriend too, his name is Will
One day they plan to marry and have kids,
And all their future dreams they will fulfil
Sometimes, asleep, she opens her eyelids.
Basically happy like others they know
Drifting each day in the midst of their dreams,
When with their friends they put on a good show
Life is as simple as often it seems.
Nothing is better when things are like this
Unknowing and lovely, ignorance bliss.

79 (18.10.2014)

Surprise attack at night is what we need
He sends his soldiers silent through the hills
For only gentle, gentle will succeed
And only softest soft the earth it thrills.
And as the moisture rises from the ground
He bids them delve a little deeper too
He understands that greatest pleasure's found
Above the curtains gently entered through.
So when the well is broken and the soft-
Est soft is weak and wanting and alive,
Then call the army full and high aloft
To enter swift and through the darkness drive.
Then quivering, juvenile, the city fall
With gentle moan and joy to one and all.

78 (17.10.2014)

When I breathe hard I breathe a lot for you
You're dug so deep inside my fragile mind
That even as I search for something new
I always know it's only you I'll find.
There's different layers in my head of friends
They range down from acquaintances to thee
The place where you are is where friendship ends
And love takes over for eternity.
Let me express how much you fill me up
Without you I am nothing but a space
But with you I'm an over flowing cup
That's bursting with your goodness and your grace.
The gift of words is evidenced right here,
But in your presence all gifts disappear.

77 (16.10.2014)

Because the mind is the machine of sex
I use it when I'm making love to you
And you're not here and no one else suspects
We do the thing that makes a one of two.
Your breathing changes and I slide inside
You pull me closer still and move your hips
On tenter hooks of friction we both ride
I taste the salt upon your sweating lips.
You arch your back and say you're going to cum
I feel your rhythm soaking through my bones
Though I'm alone my body starts to hum
And in my brain a hammer's cracking stones.
My mind is good and we make love you see
Though you're a lonely hundred miles from me.

76 (15.10.2014)

Again, again, again and once again,
Between the rains that fall from purple skies
Between the bitter sweet of twisted pain
Again, again, again the lover cries.
And out across the world the heathen fall
And blessed are all the sacred of the heart
For he who loves shall not be dead at all
But raised above the shallow from the start.
And when our love is taken on its own
We look at it and wonder how it is
That such a precious thing could turn to stone
If one of us denied that it were his.
As bound together as the moon and sea
So you and I, and I and you should be.

75 (14.10.2014)

So let these words be all in praise of you
And let my tired eyes rejoice in sight
And let me hold your hand and feel what's true
And know your touch can shield me from the night.
Relationships are bound by give and take
The more I give to you the more I get,
The things we leave undone and we forsake
They join the things we try hard to forget.
If I'm alone, then I know that you're near
If I feel lost, then I know your the way
And everything unfocused becomes clear
And darkest night is bright as lightest day.
So I'm in love and I stand next to you,
And doubled we become the half of two.

74 (13.10.2014)

Should sonnets be of love and nothing more
Should every word be written in your praise
And echo all the things that I adore
Your tender thoughts, your perfect eyes, your gaze?
I think the answer can only be: "Yes..."
For your love is the centre of my life
And every time I see you then I bless
The stars for sending me the perfect wife.
We stand together equal hand in hand
I bow down when I kiss the greater me
And every bell rings out across the land
We fill the world with Love for all to see.
So what I write should echo what I do...
And all I do all day is worship you.

73 (12.10.2014)

Four million seven hundred thousand views
It's nothing really in the light of things
But not irrelevant in terms of news
And might restore some faith in he who sings.
So YouTube does things no one else can do
A niche is all you need for great success
But now I wonder if that's really true
Or just one more illusion feeding stress?
But I'll dig deep a pit inside of me
And search for some emotions to lay bare
And spill them out for all the world to see
And then act like it's things I didn't share.
In cyber space, you see, there's pots of gold
Although they all depend on adverts sold.

72 (11.10.2014)

I'm going to get a blow-torch and burn this
Candle. Burn its middle and burn both ends
There's nothing but a pool of wax to miss,
Time vandalised the thing that love defends,
And it stole the process of creation,
Packed all the world in little plastic bags,
Did too much and burst with his relation,
The devil in the corner weaving flags,
Shows the world that money is important
And highlights something trivial but fun
Lets us do the things we know we oughtn't
And guards the gate so nothing's left undone.
When it's time to sleep and I stop yawning
Who will come and greet me in the morning?

71 (10.10.2014)

My friends they mean a lot to me they do
Although, sadly, I don't see them that much
My life is fairly busy serving you
It's hard to find the time to keep in touch.
And I don't really speak lots anyway
I find it hard to concentrate on talk
Unless with friends there's some game we can play
I'd much prefer to just go for a walk.
It's not that I don't care about their lives
Or I don't want to know what's going on
Between themselves their kids and lovely wives
Or where the youthful days we had are gone.
I love my friends and wish them all the best
And now I've done my lines so I can rest.

70 (09.10.2014)

I give repression to myself and you
Although I try hard to be straight and free
There's nothing in this world we cannot do
But somehow there's still chains restricting me.
We never know what's there until we jump
And neither can we guess how things will end
But still inside there's just a little lump
Of things on which we both seem to depend
And these things, and the fear of losing them,
They make manipulation easier still
And bits of us, like some foul cancerous phlegm,
They hold us back in chains against our will.
I'd like to free myself and free you too
But don't know how to start or what to do.

69 (08.10.2014)

Outside it's raining and the skies are grey
At last winter's here and we must face it
Don't know what to write, nothing much to say
Might as well spill coffee on the carpet.
Went out swimming with the girls this morning
One and a three year old floating round me
Old lady's Aqua-fit, like time's warning:
"Just try hard to live your life lovingly."
Went to the Havelock last night it was fun
Sang a few songs and I earned me a beer
Hollington girls, A and the Vampire one
Funny to think that Ebola is near,
And if we believe what the papers say
We'll all be dead by the end of the day.

68 (07.10.2014)

If I surrender now and give up God
If I erase religion from my head
Would I retrace the steps in which I've trod
And just believe in something else instead?
Like money maybe music or a man
A famous football player or a cat
Or find coincidence and call it plan
Or look up to the sun and worship that.
If I surrender now myself to God
And I accept religion in my mind
Will I then understand the path I plod
And understand the questions that I find?
If I surrender now myself to me.
Would I be then imprisoned or set free?

67 (06.10.2014)

Can someone tell me to keep going please?
Feel like I'm trying to fall from a ledge,
If I come to you and get on my knees
Would you please guide me right up to the edge?
The weather is good, for winter has come
The rain and the clouds now shelter the sky,
Nobody knows what to make of the sun,
One man is helping another to cry.
Politics lashed to a hole in the deck
Dignity drowned at the top of a wave
Just look around you all the world's a wreck
We're only valued if we miss behave.
What happens when we throw talent away
Does it just leave, or persistently stay?

66 (05.10.2014)

I just don't want to do this anymore
I've got too much to do and I feel ill
I feel besmirched like some sick sonnet whore
Who gets with child although she's on the pill.
And then she has to sort her body out
And back up the mistake that she has made
Beneath bright lights and white walls filled with doubt
The living heart of something in her's stayed.
And every day I do this stupid thing
And waste my precious brain on useless thought
And all the while imagining it will bring
Me fame and wealth but all amounts to nought.
But though I know it's pointless and a pain,
I do it time and time and time again.

65 (04.10.2014)

Divide and rule has been so well achieved
That we don't even notice how it's done,
The squabbles that we're asked to have believed
Are made to stop us all from being one.
But things inside we have the power to change
Those feelings that are buried deep within,
We simply have to try and rearrange
Our thoughts and shine a light on hidden sin.
The world should be more equal and more free
And we should all join hands with those in need
And we should let all cynicism be
For if we stand united we'll succeed.
Divide us now but conquer us no more,
For we are one and this we shall restore.

64 (03.10.2014)

Forgive me now for knocking off these things
As if they didn't count or words were cheap
Our thoughts, by verse, should all be given wings
To testify the heart of all that's deep.
And words should not be hurled aside each day
And neither should they gently be let go
They should be placed deliberate and stay
To echo truths that all the world should know.
But here I am just dropping things in place
And setting down the first that comes to mind
As though no thought had ever crossed my face
Or words had never to me been so kind
But when I've time I know I'll look and see
That every thing is just where it should be.

63 (02.10.2014)

You will not hold your tongue and rest in peace
You will not just accept the world is wrong
You will keep fighting on and never cease
With your great army six and twenty strong.
And with your army you will fashion blades
And castles made of words that none can breach
And pictures of the truth that never fades
But brings the dream of justice within reach.
So speak into the hearts of all that hear
And let us understand how things could be,
You give us strength, and worries disappear
And open up our eyes so we can see
Attila stands alone upon the stage
And fills the world with justifiable rage

62 (01.10.2014)

I did not speak to you and then just laugh,
And you didn't hold my hand and then let go
I did not try drowning you in the bath
And you did not stand crying in the snow.
I spoke to you and you spoke back to me
And we held hands and did not just give up
And both of us knew that we'd always be
Together drinking from our broken cup.
I did not make you howl and fall apart
And you did not try testing me to stay,
And I did not ignore your screaming heart
Although I'd sworn to God I'd never stray.
That all consuming Love which was so dear
Now's just a lonely memory and a tear.

61 (30.09.2014)

In fairest Amberley I took my rest
And by strange chance did happen on an inn
As I did travel Sussex East to West
In search of where my real life should begin.
And in a room inside this place I found
Three travellers there like me beyond their choice
Four men in one room sheltered beneath sound
Four separate souls all singing with one voice.
Each quarter of this world in one confides
A song carved from the deepest well of words
A story told from fourteen thousand sides
And thrown to seed a field of yellow birds
Whose flaming wings lift each note to the sun
Then sing back to the world "All life is one."

60 (29.09.2014)

I have not even the slightest tiny doubt
That when I wake the sun will still be there
Nor do I feel the need to scream and shout
For I grow wings as I fall through the air.
And when I land, I land as soft as sheep
And when I run, I run as well as rain
And when I win, I win as hard as sleep
And when I draw, I draw without a stain.
For blesséd is the rain that falls on me,
And blesséd is the sun that on me shines
And blesséd is the word that sets me free
And blesséd is the space between all lines.
So bow down now and feel the salty breath,
Of all the world beholden unto death.

59 (28.09.2014)

Ambition is a sword of happiness
Which cuts the holder and then steals his time.
So why is it I feel I should confess
When hard work and desire is all my crime?
The minutes shrink and seconds become days,
The hours run away like rabbits scared
And months and years pass by me in a haze
The things we wish to do stay unprepared.
A list as long as any busy arm
Do this, do that, and scurry to and fro
Ambition is the fruit of all my harm
Barbed hooks that rip my flesh and won't let go.
Though they say, "What you give is what you get."
I long to press a button and forget.

58 (27.09.2014)

I don't think I can write a word today
It's all a little pointless isn't it?
Go back to bed, let two times twelve hours stray,
All effort is a slippery sided pit.
So close my eyes and dream a dream of you
And what it took for you to be curtailed,
Did no one ever question what you do,
I know they said your greatest work had failed?
I don't suppose you had statistics then
Just places in the hearts or tickets sold
The sad, sad sorry ways of little men
To measure everything in terms of gold.
It's like a joke but if we want to eat,
Somehow or other we must make ends meet

57 (26.09.2014)

Time is relative and also your love
I step into a room and both stand still
The sun, in space, is motionless above
And thoughts of you all thoughts in my head fill.
Yes time and love walk hand in hand like us,
As relativism in lingering lovers' minds
We take control, or don't, and make a fuss
Yet each of us the other still refines.
I look around and slow time with a thought
You turn to me, the whole world disappears,
And everything that love has ever taught
Is strengthened in a wounded lover's tears.
So I love you in quarrel and in peace
And though time stop our love will never cease.

56 (25.09.2014)

The world is spinning just before my eyes
One simple step is all it needs to be
Just stand up now and say all my goodbyes
And walk away, don't look back, and be free.
I'm stuck inside a world of yesterday,
But all that holds me back is only fear
What can I do to make it go away?
A leap of faith is far and yet so near;
If we have mental strength and we believe
If we know we can do what must be done
Why can't we just stand up and simply leave
And watch our fears fall from us one by one?
For he who talks and talks but does not do
Is worth far less than he who follows through.

55 (24.09.2014)

Doubt kills more dreams than failure has ever
So just have faith in this thing that you love
Know you can do it, never say never
Know that a passion is sent from above.
Beware the thoughts of negative people
Be wary of thoughts deep inside yourself
Keep struggling on, eyes on the steeple
Understand money's no measure of wealth.
Each day do something to bring the goal near
Work and then work and then work a bit more
Keep moving on and watch doubt disappear
Work is not work if it's what we adore.
For no goal was ever left unachieved,
When a man worked hard and also believed.

54 (23.09.2014)

Tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny creature
More tiny than the tiniest speck of dust
There inside some long magazine feature
Article on death and killing and lust.
This tiny fleck moves fast across the page,
Then glides right down to where the centre's creased
And something in my brain starts to engage
And words and rhymes are gradually released.
The idea for a sonnet comes to mind,
I think I'll write about the size of you
And everything that here on earth we find
That makes us feel our puzzlement anew.
I look back down and for an instant see
You walk across the word "...eternity..."

53 (22.09.2014)

A trader I will be and trade in Love
And little words I spread out on the page
And songs I sing that echo far above
And come back to me as a living wage.
A trader I will be and trade in smiles
And trade in happiness and happy news
I'll keep that joyfulness in little files
And hand it out when people get the blues.
A trader I will be and trade in peace
And armaments that do no one no harm
I'll trade so well that every war will cease
And enemy and friend walk arm in arm.
A trader I will be and have no fear,
For I can do no wrong when you are near.

52 (21.09.2014)

We drop like flies inside the house of sick
The last man standing happens to be me,
The bug wants me but I'm too fast and quick
Too busy cleaning vomit, can't you see?
A little thing has grabbed them one by one
And spilled their insides out upon the floor
A sickness bug just trying to have some fun,
Five people down, and I will be one more.
I feel inside the place where sickness stemmed,
Sit waiting for convulsions in me too,
The fact that soon to vomit I'm condemned
Will not make it more pleasant when I do.
The family is close and all is well,
We've spent a joyful day in vomit hell.

51 (20.09.2014)

Some beans on toast, a glass of cold champagne
September nights grow darker every day
Sit outside waiting for the winter's rain
To wash the fading summer's sun away.
The seasons have been good for such a while
The winter's coming but who really cares?
Those snowy storms so often make us smile
And summer's sun the winter also shares.
The world is dark, lost and kind of mirthless
At times it's like we're stranded in a tree
Things we care the most about are worthless
No one could buy the love I feel for thee.
An empty plate and then an empty glass,
Sit back, relax and let the seasons pass

50 (19.09.2014)

We settle down in silence and we wait
And twenty seconds tick their gentle way
Beyond my reach and once more through the gate
To greet the minutes of another day.
The minutes of the days rush into weeks,
The weeks collide with months and turn to years,
A year turns to a decade and it speaks
Of foolish worries and more foolish fears.
The minutes will not stop but I am calm,
The seconds are a friend when I'm in need,
The hours do not wish to do me harm,
Nor do the months conspire to make me bleed.
I'll get my lottery ticket and I'll see
If I can conquer time or conquered be.

49 (18.09.2014)

If I could fly away right now I would
Or climb upon the back of a great swan
And let it take me far from where I'm stood
Far, far away until at last I'm gone.
I don't want to be tired any more
I don't want to be yawning just like fools
I don't want to be wishing like before
I don't want to be bound by normal rules.
I'll pack my bags and drive back home to France.
Leave all my dumb possessions where they are.
Stand by that glorious river and just dance.
Give all my gentle wishes to a star.
Where is the little button I can press,
To give me strength to handle my distress?

48 (17.09.2014)

I have nothing to say to you today
Just go and click on something else instead,
I've never really liked you anyway
You sat there reading sonnets while I bled.
I cut some words out of a messed up heart
You read them like the bad luck that they were
Then you said "It's about time that you start
To slow down so that life's not such a blur..."
The world today has washed all words away
The sun's a golden leaf strewn on the ground
The middle of September's just like May
A mist sweeps the horizon without sound.
So it's all true those things you said you heard
I will not write another rhyming word.

47 (16.09.2014)

If I do nothing, surely I have sinned?
As surely as the rich who will not give.
Then my pretence of holiness is binned
With those who're given life but do not live.
A bully stops a young boy on the path
She knocks his books out of his tiny hands
Then she and her two friends begin to laugh
And push the little boy from where he stands.
I stop my bike and look back, then they go.
The boy bends down and gets his dusty books
There's things I'd like to say to him to show
That life is often easier than it looks.
I see a poor man suffering and pass by,
The devil drips delusion in my eye.

46 (15.09.2014)

I sit here now in perfect state of mind
My body works, I'm seated on a chair,
I know that if I don't look I will find
That things come to me floating through the air.
I long no more to see the way things are,
Nor do I strive to put my mind at rest.
I do not wish upon a fallen star
Nor do I feel, no more, that better's best.
I speak my peace and give the words some space
It's all a little pointless in the end,
There's no such thing as triumph or disgrace
There's nothing done that we did not intend.
And yet you say I'm dancing with a bell,
While walking through the corridors of hell.

45 (14.09.2014)

If you've some pearls you wish to throw away
I know some pigs that really like to eat,
But naturally they'll never want to pay
For morsels given as a tasty treat.
You struggle on through days and then a week,
You work at worthwhile things another year
You strive to reach the sacred highest peak
But fail again just as the end is near.
There is a thought of beauty in your mind
You clutch it close but then it can't be found
And all at once you see that you're inclined
To scatter pearls upon the muddy ground.
Though maybe it's not pearls, but seeds you throw
And worthwhile seeds might take some time to grow.

44 (13.09.2014)

We shop and shop and shop and shop and shop
And all our hard earned money's quickly gone
But then they lend us more so we don't stop
And we just carry on and on and on.
I need a brand new suit, you need a car,
We both need special trainers for our kids
But if we spend enough then we all are
Relieved of every freedom debt forbids.
I run around in circles like a slave
I'm weaved in webs of tiny sticking strands
I try hard not to think and just be brave
While money lenders rub their greedy hands,
They hold me down and will not let me go,
I am a slave to all the debts I owe.

43 (12.09.2014)

TV, some wine and something good to see
We lie down on the sofa close to sleep
As long as I am here and you're with me
There's no more need to threat or moan or weep.
Romance is now some moments left in peace
A chance to sit in silence holding you
While waiting for the wine to bring release
And let us, just for now, be just us two.
The TV stops me thinking of betrayal
A world that isn't always very fair
In which we try so hard, but often fail
To find another soul with which to share.
With which to share the moments of a day,
And every future moment, come what may.

42 (11.09.2014)

With all addictions gathering round my head
I take one at a time and have a look
At which will help me quickest to be dead
And on which ones I'd like my life to hook.
I bottle up my pleasures in an hour
The weeks slip by inside a drunken haze
Each placid month I hungrily devour
For twelve years I walk round inside a maze.
I'm not the same as he who was before
There's something in me changed, and I don't care
What matters has diminished more and more
And all alone I stumble in despair.
For nothing can be said now or be done
Those old addictions gathering round have won.

41 (10.09.2014)

I welcome silence back into my life
And close my eyes to feel the darkness fold
Around me like the costume of a wife
Who hits her peak at fifty-nine years old.
I close my eyes and do not speak a word
But wait until the silence comes to see
That wintertime has silenced every bird
Except the crow familiar still to me.
In darkest silence now I spend my time
Laid out inside my tiny little room
Just waiting for the evening bells to chime
And waiting for my silent heart to bloom.
A world within a world I spin around
And peace from all my worries have I found.

40 (09.09.2014)

When we sit talking just for talking's sake
And when it seems we say nothing at all
Do you not think that all language is fake
And words are made redundant as they fall
From your cracked lips or from your serpent's tongue?
I hear the things you say but can't make sense
Of any sentence that you have begun
I'm somehow deaf and tapped of all defence.
We talk and talk and talk and talk and talk
And every word is pointless, at its best,
Though yesterday, as we went for a walk,
You said something that maintained my interest
You said, I quote, "My wife's a bloody bitch...
I can't divorce her though... she'd get too rich."

39 (08.09.2014) (W word warning!)

Does your Romanian babysitter think
That she can fan the flames of your desire?
In her life now you're just the missing link
Between her wretched past and aiming higher.
She opens up her self to let you in
And rides you like she's riding on a horse
She smells the wealth that permeates your skin
And prays religiously for your divorce.
Of course you say it's only in your mind
As you lay wanking by your sleeping wife
Who's always been so caring and so kind
And more or less the best thing in your life.
But if there's chance and Rica wants to play
Will you succumb, or send her on her way?

38 (07.09.2014)

Sometimes it's like I do this in my sleep
Just get my pen and squiggle out some lines
But other days this hill is all too steep
And it's like slaving hours in the mines.
I try hard not to let it get me down
And struggle on despite having to try
Do I work hard or am I just a clown
Are my ideas of "...worthwhile..." just a lie?
I'd like to write some words to help you see
And try to wake you up a little bit
But maybe I should just be waking me
And stop acting like such a stupid git.
Sometimes I have nothing I want to say
And I want to express that in my way.

37 (06.09.2014)

In nature rabbits run round wild and free
And not in cages do they spend the night
They have no sense of their captivity
But make homes up in hills far out of sight.
Off in the wild they'd have kids of their own
They'd eat the grass and chew on bits of wood
But our two rabbits ate my brand new phone
And seem to think that books and chairs taste good.
They're antisocial, not much fun and smell
But everybody loves them except me,
They're pretty unintelligent as well
If only I could somehow set them free...
I'd love to let them go but it's no use
I can't think of a plausible excuse.

36 (05.09.2014)

Floppy dead badger lying in the road
No scuttling no more on the streets at night
But if you're hit again then you'll explode
Stop car, walk back and push you out of sight.
Body gives way against the toe of shoe
Roughly the weight of any little child
Smashed, bloodied jaw and eyes that spilt out too,
Moved it from road to where the verge grows wild.
After my first was born Neils made me brunch
And I would never be just me again,
And fatherhood was like some kind of punch
That knocked me out but left me in no pain.
I have no secrets from the world you see,
There's only this, my fears, my kids, and thee.

35 (04.09.2014)

Something about you pales the room we're in
Like there's a void that only you can fill
Your deep dark eyes are balancing on sin
Your youthful beauty's weakening all will.
Men salivating all around you now,
There's nothing left to look at in this room
Each man among them wishing he could plough
The furrow of the skin beneath your womb.
Those eyes are in my head and there they'll stay
They're brought back like a memory on the page
They stole the room where they were on display
And made the older half regret its age.
It must be hard for you to just make friends
When all around want you for their own ends.

34 (03.09.2014)

This old abandoned Lottery receipt
That I screw up and drop into a bin
When, two days later, we admit defeat
And ponder what it really means to win.
More time, I guess, and all that we desire
But maybe time just can't be stretched like that,
And when we stretch don't goals always get higher?
Aren't some rich people's lives just dull and flat?
But when luck comes, it comes and comes in droves
All sorrows are forgotten for a while
We buy new shoes and boots and brand new clothes
And everyone is greeted with a smile.
But though we didn't win I will not frown
Our love's more worth than all the wealth in town.

33 (02.09.2014)

There is a spot of numb inside my brain
A place that only sparks when I have slept
A dark and empty space where I'm insane
And where in tiredness often I have wept.
I try to touch the thing that's out of reach
And close my eyes attempting to force rest
But just can't stop the flow of inner speech
And voices in me laugh at my request.
Then when I sleep I do not know I'm there
And all too soon I wake and I am back
And I've forgotten all I had to share
And everything I saw has turned to black.
Then I walk numb and restless through the day
And struggle to keep weariness at bay.

32 (01.09.2014)

There is this thing that I know I can do
My little Everest just because it's there
That I climb up with feet covered in glue
To make something that all the world can share.
I create this and do expect returns
And worry not where these returns come from
Reward will always come to he who earns
Impatience is a tightly ticking bomb.
So read and read and read and write and write
And write and write and write and read and read
True faith is the persistence found in fight
The will unstoppable can but succeed
Such optimism and audacity
No shadow of a doubt inside of me.

31 (31.08.2014)

I stepped out onto London streets from home,
The borrowed home we had last night from friend,
I had a coffee specially brewed in Rome
And watched the passing cars that never end.
The friend and I we went to the same school
And Albert, Nick and Josh were also there
I think that without caring we were cool
But now we're all just old and losing hair.
Ralph's flat it takes me deep into the past,
Past school and to my wealthy father's place
But wealth and money too can never last
No one grows old without a wrinkled face
In life d'we cling to that which keeps us sane?
A month of sonnets cease, then start again.

30 (30.08.2014)

I love the way that you stay really calm
When I go mad and flip my tempered lid
Somehow it's like a gentle soothing balm
That stops and slows me when I'm right in mid-
sentence. I wish I could be calm like you
But something in me fills with burning rage
I wish that I was soft and gentle too
Perhaps, one day, that gift will come with age.
You balance me when I'm about to fall
You take my hand and guide me on my way
Your magnitude and grace make me feel small
You bring me back when I have gone astray.
But how to pay you back for all I owe
When words are all I have and all I know?

29 (29.08.2014)

I sank my teeth into a sonnet's flesh
I took a bite of all that I have known
I weaved a skin of dark and pregnant mesh
I threw my friends away and was alone
The buttons in my head they all implode
I guide my hand like shadows in the breeze
I wait and hope that my mind will explode
I fall down on my crying shattered knees
As if a line could last the length of time
As if the world was never really there
As if a word was only meant for rhyme
As if another single human'd care
And so today the words came out like this
Some lines of sweet uncaring sacred bliss

28 (28.08.2014)

How strange to sit and eat while this is here
The faces staring at you from the milk
D'you feel the world conspiring with your fear?
They're tying up your heart with threads of silk.
They're tiny threads like tiny bits of news,
They tangle round your sweet celestial wings
They slip around the bottom of your shoes
And stop you trying new and different things.
Don't move, don't go, don't fly away from me,
Don't let somebody take you in the night
Don't trust your neighbour, though he friendly be
Don't ever let your children out of sight.
The family round the breakfast table stare,
At nightmares conjured from the heavenly air.