220 (28.02.2015)

The stars tonight are covered up with clouds
Though high above the storm they twinkle bright
Away from all the bustle and the crowds
Up in the firmament of peaceful night.
Down here a jobsworth's sitting on his own
Shrugging a bit and raising up his face
(Like a passive-aggressive Al Capone)
Trying to keep all his red tape in place.
The weather moves outside his world of work
The futile fellow sees it's time to leave
He looks for one last person he can irk
Then packs away his things on Christmas eve.
Beneath the sky towards his empty flat,
The jobsworth scurries home just like a rat.

219 (27.02.1015)

All these national treasures falling round us
Sir Jimmy Saville you were just the first
Now I don't want to make a massive fuss
But could it be the 70s were cursed?
Now Gary Glitter he's got sixteen years
And poor old Rolf he won't get out again
It makes you just want to break down in tears
To think of all the horror and the pain
That they dished out these people we admired
While everybody looked the other way
And they were never beaten, caught or fired
Though their respect was built on feet of clay.
Celebrities, in time will you prevail,
Or will you end up rotting in a gaol?

218 (26.02.2015)

"This is the end, my only friend the end..."
I think it's time for me to leave you now
And you can stop pretending you're my friend
And go back to when you were such a cow
That all you did was "Tut..." at us all day
And expect us to get down on our knees
As if gratitude was the price to pay
For everything we try to do to please
you. I don't know... perhaps I'm glad we're done
There's nothing I hate more than bits of rope
Around the necks of hanging men, a gun
Gives more than just the memory of hope.
You know as well as I do that we're through
It's time for me to leave and start anew.

217 (25.02.2015)

Gruesome death trap for flies upon the roof
Bright light shining in dull and boring room
Four of them, altogether ample proof
That light cannot always dispel the gloom.
I went towards the light and I got trapped,
But it was such a pretty place to be,
Yet though I crawled and crawled and flipped and flapped
There was no exit there that I could see.
And all the light and brightness that I sought
And all the joys and fun I run towards
They all amount to little less than nought
Or sedatives to trap the million hordes.
I am a fly that's trapped inside a light
And cannot leave no matter how I fight.

216 (24.02.2015)

I've learned today that I keep things well hidden
There's bits of me that few have ever seen
Ways I've been that most think are forbidden
And all forbidden place that I've been.
Handsome fellow charming me that I am
Obviously beyond reprieve and gentle
And always well aware that life's a sham
Balanced on the edge of really mental.
But I don't show these bits I keep them hid
And I keep my mouth shut in certain ways
I often do as other people bid
But only when I think for me it pays.
If you knew what went on behind this frown
You might just get a gun and put me down 

215 (23.02.2015)

Today the day is up and waits for me
And as I wake the world is bated breath
The clearest, bluest sky it sets me free
From sleepy, dreamy chains of petty death.
And as my brain unfolds into the day
My muscles they rebuild themselves again
And once more I am made of dust and clay
And images and thoughts they take the strain.
I look towards a day as bright as gold
I look towards a day that's fully blessed
I look towards redemption and am sold
On ideas of contentment, peace and rest.
And so today the sun rises with me
And gives me this to change the world for thee.

214 (22.02.2015)

I will not fight no more what I can't change
Nor resist where resistance is no good
What I want is no longer out of range
For I have learnt and I have understood.
We've been kept on our knees by doubts and fears
We've been told that our chains will make us free
Been locked in servitude for years and years
And told that honest work is liberty.
But we're not here to suffer and be sad
We are not here to toil and be repressed
The days of joy are plentiful and glad-
Ness is the place we thrive in and are best.
I wish today mankind could see the lie
And break their shackles and then learn to fly.

213 (21.02.2015)

Put on some music and run with me now
I want to run to the ends of the world
I want to feel like I'm floating and how
My blood runs around, my muscles are curled.
Come with me now and let's run run away
Run to the start that we both know we need
Turn over the page and start a new day
Together you know that we can but succeed.
"You get what you want." Is what I've been told.
Somebody whispers "Get back in your place."
Some one is laughing, "You know you're too old."
Some one is saying "It's such a disgrace."
And you think I should put out of my mind,
That thing you did when you were being 'kind'.

212 (21.02.2015)

Wish you could see what it's like to be me
And see what I see with my little eye...
Little faces laughing in every tree
Stars in hysterics up there in the sky.
Deep in my eyes there’s terrible sorrow
It suddenly appeared and has not gone
Won’t be less, but just be more tomorrow
Try not to show it, it just carries on.
Know how it started, but not how it ends
Where are we going with our twisted love?
When I ask you, you just say “It depends
On how you behave and stars up above.”
Trapped and I know it, but want to be here,
On my knees constantly shadowed by fear.

211 (20.02.2015)

As all things they go up and down in life,
As always fortune's wheel is on the move
As moments' joy is followed by more strife
We feel relief, but then have things to prove.
We're stuck in cars on someone's motorway
We're back to back with no where we can drive
The children growing restless for some play
And everybody feeling half alive.
So in this traffic jam are words in lines
The sonnets past and all those still to come
The sparkling letters LOVE on neon signs
And all the things that stop us feeling numb.
So round and round we go in endless space
Balancing on happiness, love and grace.

210 (19.02.2015)

Has anyone got a shield I can borrow,
Protection from inevitable pain,
That's gonna visit, this time tomorrow?
When you break free and do it once again.
Perhaps we can make things click like a plan
If I could only be there from the start
I promise that I'll try the best I can
To keep a tight reign on my floating heart.
So, if my mum pulls through and we can do,
This time tomorrow our world will have changed,
And I'll have had the dreams I want from you
And you'll have had you passions rearranged.
So let's hope all is well and well is good,
And that the world pans out just as it should.

209 (18.02.2015)

Now I am writing a sonnet a day
But sometimes don't really know what to write
Yet even then I do it anyway
And I don't worry if words don't take flight 
Or if they don't land just the way they should.
So I just write words down and then I trust
That something in me will make something good
That shows a little passion and some lust.
So I write down these word day in day out
And try to think of things I'd like to say
And often I don't know what it's about 
Until I look at it another day.
But maybe I should stop if it's too tough,
I don't want to get by on just enough.

208 (17.02.2015)

Ambition is frustrating me today
So many things on earth I'd like to do
But little grains they slip and slip away,
And I spend all my time just loving you.
A bit self-conscious, do you know yourself?
A little lonely, are you here alone?
D'you think you might be left up on the shelf,
Abandoned well when everyone has flown?
Perhaps ambitions that which ties you down
And stops you living life right to the full?
The things you want they should not make you frown,
Nor should they be a weight you have to pull.
These plans they might be just mirrors and smoke,
And all your mammoth efforts be a joke.

207 (16.02.2015)

This useless piece of gold upon my hand
This metal worth about a hundred pounds
It's nothing but a trivial wedding band
That sits upon my finger and surrounds
My time on earth, my life and all my dreams,
My energy, my love and heaven knows
It calms a worried heart and silent screams
And shows the answers that I never chose.
Of course it's true it's just a piece of gold
But it's more prized than all else here on earth
Some useless metal, never to be sold,
A priceless jewel beloved more than it's worth.
For when I glimpse my hand I think of you,
And your gold band upon your finger too.

206 (15.02.2015)

There's things I'd like to say but now I can't
I'm trying to teach myself to hold my tongue
There's tiny little seeds I'd like to plant
But nothing old grows like when it was young.
So if I whisper now, and make my peace
Or if I shout as loud as loud can be
Is there a chance that grievances will cease
Or that together we might finally see.
But why would anybody really care?
And why would words be wasted on a lie?
There's more love than we possible can share,
All twisted round a mirage in the sky.
It's Sunday now and everything is bliss,
Today the words they came out just like this.

205 (14.02.2015)

St Valentine come down and guide my hand
Please help me write some special words today
I'd like the universe to understand
That priceless is a number none can pay.
A greeting card it costs about a pound
A box of chocolates just a little more
Perfume's the most expensive thing I found
But even that can't match what I adore.
So let me keep the kids away a while
I'll try to let you sleep longer instead
And wake you with a happy loving smile
When I then bring you breakfast in our bed.
The priceless love I'm filled with through the year
Upon this day shines brighter and more clear

204 (13.02.2015)

What do you do with selfies that you take,
With all that pixeled vanity in bytes?
With all the thousand changes that you make,
Each time you move the camera or the lights?
Does each click disappoint you more and more?
Does each new picture make you understand
That somewhere in your beauty there's a flaw
And you cannot dismiss it out of hand?
So when you stand there with your camera out
Praying the perfect picture will appear
And when you hold your friends up close and pout
Does it get harder not so show your fear?
'Cause time and time and time again you try,
But every single picture makes you cry.

203 (12.02.2015)

I'm slipping slowly down to paradise
I'm shutting off the air so I can breathe
I'm watching myself skate upon thin ice
And knowing that I do not want to leave.
The little killer buttons in me glow,
I long to stand and press them one by one
And have a good time 'til it's time to go
And stare into the barrel of a gun.
It sounds as if I'm desperate to part
But that's not true I'm quite enjoying this
As long as there's some movement in my heart
I'll keep mistaking suffering for bliss.
So I run round in circles like a clown,
And everything about me's upside down.

202 (11.02.2015)

Before me is an electronic page
That's crying out for fourteen little lines
And so I let my fingers set the gauge
And let my mind walk off in search of signs.
So four lines they appear beyond my grasp
And then another one and then one more,
I try to keep a hold but cannot clasp
And suddenly there's writ another four.
So four and four is obviously eight
So then of course there's only six to go
But that maths is a little bit too late
Because four more have come to say hello.
And now there's just the couplet left to do
Though I don't feel I've written much for you.

201 (10.02.2015)

Be good to yourself, then be better still
And let that goodness flow and flood the world
For nothing else but love can hope to fill
The time and space that's round us darkly curled.
The goodness that we have inside is free
It's only bad for which we pay the price
And if we think and act deceptively
Then everything will come back to us twice.
So though the world is difficult at times
It's also filled with peace and love and hope
And all the misdemeanours and the crimes
Might just as well be hanging from a rope.
So struggle on and struggle on and rest
And give yourself a chance to be your best.

200 (09.02.2015)

I've got a good idea let's make a deal,
And then you come back home and don't complain,
About the way I said it made me feel,
About the things you've fucked up in my brain.
So you do that and I'll try not to care,
Despite the fact I'm twisted inside out,
And if you've time perhaps one day you'll share
The tiny little details of each bout.
So let's say that a deal's a deal and then
I've done my bit, now that's all in the past.
Yes I did what I had to do but when
It's time for you to play you can't be arsed.
So I sit back and suffer and I die,
And you don't even get it when I cry.

199 (09.02.2015)

Some food, some wine and you to snuggle with
A warm house and a chance to sit in peace
The busyness we make is just a myth
That we must soon let go of and release.
So I give slip to that and think of this
Upon a day that feels like spring has come
I let myself get caught up in a kiss
That warms me where I previously was numb.
Yet though love's often crazy, hard and wild
Occasionally it's gentle as a fawn,
And we're at times too easily beguiled
By glittering hopes of love that end in scorn.
The summer sun is once more on its way,
But will not really be here until May.

198 (08.02.2015)

I'm on the edge of that sweet space I love
And gradually today I'll enter there,
And see you smiling at me from above
Just watch me balance pleasure and despair.
Here in my mind it's already begun
There's little pictures jostling in my head
There's wine and riding, happiness and fun
There's pillows strewn across a hotel bed.
So hold my hand and let me wish you well,
My heart is with you every place you go
I'd follow you into the depths of hell
And never let my mixed up feelings show.
I wish for luck and all the best for you
May all your wildest fantasies come true.

197 (07.02.2015)

Look at me, look at me, look at me look
Spouting words like a syllable fountain
A fishing line in your brain with a hook
Take you all the way back up the mountain.
It's Gauguin, Monet, Manet and Matisse
Pick up a pen and just let it all flow,
I don't care much, call the culture police
Just start and don't know where I'm gonna go.
Head in the clouds so I'm not in a rut
Can't really think when I'm mindful of dreams
Some of them paste, but some of them still cut
If dreaming is real it's not what it seems
Look look look look, look look look, look at me
Spouting out words that no-one's gonna see.

196 (06.02.2015)

I bend myself 'neath music's sacred wings
And once again am safe beneath its glow
Forgetting all the troubles and the things
That stop me going where I wish to go.
So notes and phrases enter through my ears
And I am paralysed and left in peace
And everything I've been throughout the years
Is shadowed by my moments of release.
For music is the voice of heaven tamed
And comes into a room and fills all space
It mirrors everything that can't be named
Then leaves as suddenly without a trace.
Invisible, but here without a doubt,
So powerful it turns me inside out.

195 (05.02.2015)

When I sit down and I am not just me
When you are somewhere floating round my head
(A shadow in me that somehow I see
Standing strong and tall, Emancipated.)
Invisible you are, but you are here
(As here as any thought I've ever had.)
It's nice 'cause in my mind you're always near
And you are everything that makes me glad.
The problem is the world thinks I'm insane
And no one else can really understand
That I think what goes on inside my brain
Is more real than what I hold in my hand.
I am alone I know but I am blessed
'Cause in my mind you are here as my guest

194 (04.02.2015)

I have forgotten everything I've done
And every where I went and what I saw
From when these sonnets here were first begun
To everything I ever did before.
So now the past is nothing but these lines
And all I have of memory's in this verse
There's nothing in my life that quite defines
Me like the lines of lines that line this purse.
For all the words that each sit in their row
And all the thoughts that hide between those words
I'd love to get them out and make a show
But might as well just throw them to the birds.
So everything is as it's always been,
Yet in these lines are all I've ever seen.

193 (03.02.2015)

When I feel close and want to cuddle up
All other things in my life disappear
Our love is like an overflowing cup
That fills me up the most when you are near.
The sordid, jaded, dirty me is gone
He's been replace by someone that's more pure
Whom God has shined his loving light upon
To lead the way to love that will endure.
So if I put away games of the past
And if we start our lives and loves anew
I know that only this way can we last
And I devote my life to loving you.
So hold me now as close as close can be,
Let love banish the dark and set me free.

192 (02.02.2015)

When you fall into sleep, then I'm alone
And if I do not wake you, then you're free
While I am left with voices of my own
That bounce around the walls inside of me.
They speak to me and tempt me to complain
Or wake me up when I'm about to fall
Into the depths of my poor restless brain
Where I will have your love or none at all.
So when I slip into that place of rest
And lie next to you with you too at peace
Are these the moments where we are at best
When we have earned these hours of release?
And as I shuffle over in the night,
Is it not heaven when I hold you tight?

191 (01.02.2015)

The morning frost lies heavy on the ground
The house despite the heating's still too cold
Yet inside there is warmth that can be found
Within the loving hands that we can hold.
In spite of chilling winter's storm and rain
In spite of frost and snowflakes we endure
There is a warmth in love we can't explain
There is a heat in hearts that are still pure.
So though I walk through blizzards and the hail
Though all around is frozen to the core
There is a love in me that cannot fail
That in the winter's warmer than before.
The days of dark and cold will soon be through,
And Summer's warmth and light will start anew.