92 (31.10.2014)

Were it not for the beauty of your eyes
Were it not for your elegance and grace
My days would not be filled with wounded sighs
And hours longing just to see you face.
I suppose that we could Skype and that might work
Or I could send a SnapChat of my tears
But I don't want you thinking I'm a jerk
Or knowing that I've had too many beers.
I'm trying to control myself, but drunk
It's hard to stop my fingers texting you,
I just want to explain the thoughts I've thunk
And how I see the future for us two.
'Cos I still can't believe you're really gone,
Or that you've found another and moved on.

91 (30.10.2014)

A day off now's the only thing I need
Leave all those Vampires in their orange nest
Just try your hardest, effort will succeed
All you can do is do your very best.
Perhaps I'll read a book or go to bed
But when I close my eyes I see them there
They're bouncing up and down inside my head
Or laughing doing cartwheels in the air.
Forget those creatures they're all gone for now
They've floated off and it's time to let go
It doesn't really matter anyhow
What happens next there's none can every know.
So let the Vampires float off in the night,
Tomorrow's Halloween so just sleep tight.

90 (29.10.2014)

I need the music that's a bit too loud,
That's just touching my ears a bit too hard
That drenches me just like a heavy cloud
That steals my soul and knocks me off my guard.
Turn up, turn up, turn up and harm my ear
I want to hear that buzzing when I'm home
And go to bed with your voice ringing clear
Inside this empty, knuckle-headed dome.
Come burn me with a noise so loud I break,
Disintegrate me till I'm lost in space
Obliterate me till I start to shake
Come make the flesh melt from my putrid face.
Turn up, turn up, turn up and knock me down
Sweet volume come corrupt this soulless clown.

89 (28.10.2014)

Whip off a sonnet at breakneck speed and
Put it online for all the world to see
And one day they will, it has all been planned,
Have a little faith in the mind of me.
Outside the grey rain splatters on the ground
Each rain drop trying as hard as it can
Not to be water but famous and found
Nothing is hard when the sea is your fan.
So name someone famous, anyone you like,
They'll be more in the world that know them not
You don't believe me, then get on your bike,
Ask about some cultures that time forgot.
Relativism, we've discussed before,
I'm pretty famous in the pub next door.

88 (27.10.2014)

Hot soup all burning steamed inside a cup
A child is laughing high up in the way,
Song on the radio says "...never give up..."
But my feats feature feet of crumbling clay.
Not me, not me, not me it's not me now,
It's someone else who really, really cares
Who really wants to understand just how
Each sparrow's falling's lost on counted hairs.
And when the wind pushes a branch outside,
And when the sun reflects us in its tear
Can it be wrong to see the world with pride
When we are part of all things far and near.
The wind inside a hot cup screaming wild,
The branching sun reflects a cheerless child.

87 (26.10.2014)

For all reviews and praise and things to come
I write this now just so that you can see
There's no such thing as instantaneous fun
Between great works and vast posterity.
These words are grabbing needles in the brain
And once they're read or heard they'll never go
They're lodged inside and won't disperse again
Although it may take years for them to show.
But keep returning to your head they will,
Until you know there's nothing you can do
You won't be satisfied or rest until
You've heard them once again and seen they're true.
I long to use the phrase "...pearls before swine..."
But no one reads these pearls, they're only mine.

86 (25.10.2014)

I miss you when I haven't got my phone
It makes me want to just break down and cry
It's just the little things, an occasional moan
That make the days more pleasant as they fly.
I want to show you things happening today
The vineyard leaves are gradually turning gold
The astro-turf consumed in hissing spray,
As slowly, slowly, slow the day grows old.
If I did have my phone right now I'd call
And ask what you were up to with the kids
I'd like to be there right now with you all
But jumping time and space, the world forbids.
I'm leaving here though, in an hour or two,
And soon I'll be back home with kids and you.

85 (24.10.2014)

When all ambitions fade and thoughts despair
When all the world is grey and full of cloud
I hold your hand remembering I care
And I am once again happy and proud.
I hold the little hands that shrink in mine
I lift the little bodies in my arms
I feel something unearthly and divine
And everything inside me gently calms.
I speak to them and try hard just to play
I try hard to forget the adult me
I build a world of Lego for a day
And turn the bathtub into open sea.
I want to be a child again for you
And see the world as if all things were new.

84 (23.10.2014)

Dear Mr Twangy my magical friend
Come sit still now and watch the world with me.
See all these people, rushing to an end
I know that when you sing it makes you free,
It's the same for me, it's like I'm not there.
Some people listen and some just ignore
Wealth is to give when there's nothing to share
Misers are always the poorest of poor.
I hear you blessing your six shiny strings
Healing the mic with your raggedy voice
The giving that you give, gives heaven wings
All done on purpose, though you have no choice.
Oh Mr Twangy invincible star
All light in the world begins where you are.

83 (22.10.2014)

I have to write a sonnet now but I
Am pretty tired it's been a long, long day
Sometimes I am so happy I could cry
And other times I wallow in dismay.
No views, no views, no views nothing to lose
No chance that anyone really gives a shit
So I'll write what I want and what I choose
And know that no one else is reading it.
So this is what I'd like to say to you,
The me that's reading this in future time,
The things you treasure most I'm trying to do
The hardest things are often most sublime.
D'you see the date above this little verse?
You're fit and well and things could be much worse.

82 (21.10.2014)

Think I've got a theory about my head
And the struggles of my beautiful mind
Think my body would quite like to be dead
And not have to bother being mankind.
And so, to this end, it leads me astray
Attempting to defile this sacred house
It leads me to wrong every single day,
Stampeding elephant controlled by mouse.
Poor little mouse mind really has to work
Very, very hard to control this oaf
This earth driven maniac, stupid jerk
That's trying so hard to destroy us both.
So come on little mouse mind take control
Teach the idiot body the strength of soul.

81 (20.10.2014)

Into the silent tomb the sun is arched
Its back is spread out on the tables here,
The spaces in the room where dust has marched
Like glitter they embrace the morning clear.
I did not come to this place just for fun
Nor did I come with sense of dread and toil
But just to know my working day's begun
And from a distance watch these things uncoil.
For all I need is silence and some peace
The gently shuffled papers undisturbed,
The concentrated mind makes moments cease,
Where shadows in the room lay unperturbed.
The world is never cruel or too unkind
When all is peace and quiet in the mind.

80 (19.10.2014)

Her name is Jade and she has some tattoos
None of them green, ironically enough.
She works in Tescos sometimes stacking shoes
From eight till five she does all sorts of stuff.
She's got a boyfriend too, his name is Will
One day they plan to marry and have kids,
And all their future dreams they will fulfil
Sometimes, asleep, she opens her eyelids.
Basically happy like others they know
Drifting each day in the midst of their dreams,
When with their friends they put on a good show
Life is as simple as often it seems.
Nothing is better when things are like this
Unknowing and lovely, ignorance bliss.

79 (18.10.2014)

Surprise attack at night is what we need
He sends his soldiers silent through the hills
For only gentle, gentle will succeed
And only softest soft the earth it thrills.
And as the moisture rises from the ground
He bids them delve a little deeper too
He understands that greatest pleasure's found
Above the curtains gently entered through.
So when the well is broken and the soft-
Est soft is weak and wanting and alive,
Then call the army full and high aloft
To enter swift and through the darkness drive.
Then quivering, juvenile, the city fall
With gentle moan and joy to one and all.

78 (17.10.2014)

When I breathe hard I breathe a lot for you
You're dug so deep inside my fragile mind
That even as I search for something new
I always know it's only you I'll find.
There's different layers in my head of friends
They range down from acquaintances to thee
The place where you are is where friendship ends
And love takes over for eternity.
Let me express how much you fill me up
Without you I am nothing but a space
But with you I'm an over flowing cup
That's bursting with your goodness and your grace.
The gift of words is evidenced right here,
But in your presence all gifts disappear.

77 (16.10.2014)

Because the mind is the machine of sex
I use it when I'm making love to you
And you're not here and no one else suspects
We do the thing that makes a one of two.
Your breathing changes and I slide inside
You pull me closer still and move your hips
On tenter hooks of friction we both ride
I taste the salt upon your sweating lips.
You arch your back and say you're going to cum
I feel your rhythm soaking through my bones
Though I'm alone my body starts to hum
And in my brain a hammer's cracking stones.
My mind is good and we make love you see
Though you're a lonely hundred miles from me.

76 (15.10.2014)

Again, again, again and once again,
Between the rains that fall from purple skies
Between the bitter sweet of twisted pain
Again, again, again the lover cries.
And out across the world the heathen fall
And blessed are all the sacred of the heart
For he who loves shall not be dead at all
But raised above the shallow from the start.
And when our love is taken on its own
We look at it and wonder how it is
That such a precious thing could turn to stone
If one of us denied that it were his.
As bound together as the moon and sea
So you and I, and I and you should be.

75 (14.10.2014)

So let these words be all in praise of you
And let my tired eyes rejoice in sight
And let me hold your hand and feel what's true
And know your touch can shield me from the night.
Relationships are bound by give and take
The more I give to you the more I get,
The things we leave undone and we forsake
They join the things we try hard to forget.
If I'm alone, then I know that you're near
If I feel lost, then I know your the way
And everything unfocused becomes clear
And darkest night is bright as lightest day.
So I'm in love and I stand next to you,
And doubled we become the half of two.

74 (13.10.2014)

Should sonnets be of love and nothing more
Should every word be written in your praise
And echo all the things that I adore
Your tender thoughts, your perfect eyes, your gaze?
I think the answer can only be: "Yes..."
For your love is the centre of my life
And every time I see you then I bless
The stars for sending me the perfect wife.
We stand together equal hand in hand
I bow down when I kiss the greater me
And every bell rings out across the land
We fill the world with Love for all to see.
So what I write should echo what I do...
And all I do all day is worship you.

73 (12.10.2014)

Four million seven hundred thousand views
It's nothing really in the light of things
But not irrelevant in terms of news
And might restore some faith in he who sings.
So YouTube does things no one else can do
A niche is all you need for great success
But now I wonder if that's really true
Or just one more illusion feeding stress?
But I'll dig deep a pit inside of me
And search for some emotions to lay bare
And spill them out for all the world to see
And then act like it's things I didn't share.
In cyber space, you see, there's pots of gold
Although they all depend on adverts sold.

72 (11.10.2014)

I'm going to get a blow-torch and burn this
Candle. Burn its middle and burn both ends
There's nothing but a pool of wax to miss,
Time vandalised the thing that love defends,
And it stole the process of creation,
Packed all the world in little plastic bags,
Did too much and burst with his relation,
The devil in the corner weaving flags,
Shows the world that money is important
And highlights something trivial but fun
Lets us do the things we know we oughtn't
And guards the gate so nothing's left undone.
When it's time to sleep and I stop yawning
Who will come and greet me in the morning?

71 (10.10.2014)

My friends they mean a lot to me they do
Although, sadly, I don't see them that much
My life is fairly busy serving you
It's hard to find the time to keep in touch.
And I don't really speak lots anyway
I find it hard to concentrate on talk
Unless with friends there's some game we can play
I'd much prefer to just go for a walk.
It's not that I don't care about their lives
Or I don't want to know what's going on
Between themselves their kids and lovely wives
Or where the youthful days we had are gone.
I love my friends and wish them all the best
And now I've done my lines so I can rest.

70 (09.10.2014)

I give repression to myself and you
Although I try hard to be straight and free
There's nothing in this world we cannot do
But somehow there's still chains restricting me.
We never know what's there until we jump
And neither can we guess how things will end
But still inside there's just a little lump
Of things on which we both seem to depend
And these things, and the fear of losing them,
They make manipulation easier still
And bits of us, like some foul cancerous phlegm,
They hold us back in chains against our will.
I'd like to free myself and free you too
But don't know how to start or what to do.

69 (08.10.2014)

Outside it's raining and the skies are grey
At last winter's here and we must face it
Don't know what to write, nothing much to say
Might as well spill coffee on the carpet.
Went out swimming with the girls this morning
One and a three year old floating round me
Old lady's Aqua-fit, like time's warning:
"Just try hard to live your life lovingly."
Went to the Havelock last night it was fun
Sang a few songs and I earned me a beer
Hollington girls, A and the Vampire one
Funny to think that Ebola is near,
And if we believe what the papers say
We'll all be dead by the end of the day.

68 (07.10.2014)

If I surrender now and give up God
If I erase religion from my head
Would I retrace the steps in which I've trod
And just believe in something else instead?
Like money maybe music or a man
A famous football player or a cat
Or find coincidence and call it plan
Or look up to the sun and worship that.
If I surrender now myself to God
And I accept religion in my mind
Will I then understand the path I plod
And understand the questions that I find?
If I surrender now myself to me.
Would I be then imprisoned or set free?

67 (06.10.2014)

Can someone tell me to keep going please?
Feel like I'm trying to fall from a ledge,
If I come to you and get on my knees
Would you please guide me right up to the edge?
The weather is good, for winter has come
The rain and the clouds now shelter the sky,
Nobody knows what to make of the sun,
One man is helping another to cry.
Politics lashed to a hole in the deck
Dignity drowned at the top of a wave
Just look around you all the world's a wreck
We're only valued if we miss behave.
What happens when we throw talent away
Does it just leave, or persistently stay?

66 (05.10.2014)

I just don't want to do this anymore
I've got too much to do and I feel ill
I feel besmirched like some sick sonnet whore
Who gets with child although she's on the pill.
And then she has to sort her body out
And back up the mistake that she has made
Beneath bright lights and white walls filled with doubt
The living heart of something in her's stayed.
And every day I do this stupid thing
And waste my precious brain on useless thought
And all the while imagining it will bring
Me fame and wealth but all amounts to nought.
But though I know it's pointless and a pain,
I do it time and time and time again.

65 (04.10.2014)

Divide and rule has been so well achieved
That we don't even notice how it's done,
The squabbles that we're asked to have believed
Are made to stop us all from being one.
But things inside we have the power to change
Those feelings that are buried deep within,
We simply have to try and rearrange
Our thoughts and shine a light on hidden sin.
The world should be more equal and more free
And we should all join hands with those in need
And we should let all cynicism be
For if we stand united we'll succeed.
Divide us now but conquer us no more,
For we are one and this we shall restore.

64 (03.10.2014)

Forgive me now for knocking off these things
As if they didn't count or words were cheap
Our thoughts, by verse, should all be given wings
To testify the heart of all that's deep.
And words should not be hurled aside each day
And neither should they gently be let go
They should be placed deliberate and stay
To echo truths that all the world should know.
But here I am just dropping things in place
And setting down the first that comes to mind
As though no thought had ever crossed my face
Or words had never to me been so kind
But when I've time I know I'll look and see
That every thing is just where it should be.

63 (02.10.2014)

You will not hold your tongue and rest in peace
You will not just accept the world is wrong
You will keep fighting on and never cease
With your great army six and twenty strong.
And with your army you will fashion blades
And castles made of words that none can breach
And pictures of the truth that never fades
But brings the dream of justice within reach.
So speak into the hearts of all that hear
And let us understand how things could be,
You give us strength, and worries disappear
And open up our eyes so we can see
Attila stands alone upon the stage
And fills the world with justifiable rage

62 (01.10.2014)

I did not speak to you and then just laugh,
And you didn't hold my hand and then let go
I did not try drowning you in the bath
And you did not stand crying in the snow.
I spoke to you and you spoke back to me
And we held hands and did not just give up
And both of us knew that we'd always be
Together drinking from our broken cup.
I did not make you howl and fall apart
And you did not try testing me to stay,
And I did not ignore your screaming heart
Although I'd sworn to God I'd never stray.
That all consuming Love which was so dear
Now's just a lonely memory and a tear.