122 (30.11.2014)

Another month draws to its close today
The town is bathed in thick November fog
Somewhere the Christmas bells warm up to play
While someone, somewhere posts upon a blog.
Today has been a calm and glorious day
I ran back home via town from H&B
It's funny how the minutes slip away
But we stay here and now so constantly.
I've tidied up and washed the kitchen floor,
Had lots of hugs from my kids and my wife,
Sometimes it's hard to not just stand in awe
And thank the world for such a lovely life.
It's days like this that really let me know,
How much I'll miss this place when called to go.

121 (29.11.2014)

Enough of all this sordidness I quit
I want to watch sweet flowers bloom again
And feel a little warmth, and gentle wit
And think of things that no-one can explain.
Poppy, White Lily, Purple Tulip, Rose
The summer sun, a warming gentle breeze
The feel of lapping waves upon my toes
A gust of wind a joyful, raucous sneeze.
Perhaps it's time to start another ring
Yet not of Love or Sin but nature's wealth,
Put by these thoughts that such confusions bring
And wallow in the universe itself.
Have to remember so I'll write it down,
1st of December start new sonnet crown.

120 (28.11.2014)

The brain, the brain, the brain drives me insane
It's filled me up with images of you
That float in me like I'm an empty drain
Stuck in the ground with nothing else to do.
With nothing else to do but think about
The things that you get up to when I'm gone
And what happens in bed when I am out,
And when he'll find the things that turn you on.
So my imagination's running wild
And you are slim and arching in my mind
And I'm left whimpering like a little child
Who wants to look but's scared of what he'll find.
Then afterwards I come and lick you clean
And hope that you will treat me nice and mean.

119 (27.11.2014)

I'm part of you and you are part of me
So when you do what you do I do too,
There's nothing that you look at I don't see
Nothing you taste that I don't taste with you.
So everything you do you're not alone
And when you're taking I'm taking as well,
And when it's in your mouth my mouth is stone
And when you come you might just hear me yell.
I listen best when I'm not listening,
I speak the best when my mouth's firmly shut
I lick your lips best when they're glistening
And when you're writhing like a little slut.
So I'll be there when you are there with him
And when he's pounding on your gentle quim.

118 (26.11.2014)

May boils and blisters burn upon your face
May both your knees be crippled in a car
May all you’ve earned be stained by foul disgrace
May all your kids be tortured where you are.
May stress and terror follow where you turn
May screeching agonies plague upon your tongue
May all that you hold sacred crash and burn
May cancer grab you while you are still young.
Let these my curses land upon your head
Let these my curses settle in your soul
Let these my curses double when you’re dead
Let these my curses rage beyond control.
From now your life is suffering and pain
And when you die I pray it starts again.

117 (25.11.2014)

Let me begin by placing words in lines
And trying to think about my world today
These complicated things that life defines
They come along and then they fade away.
I have emotions bouncing in me too
They come and go like little wisps of wind
They lift me up when I am feeling blue,
Or dislocate me when my hopes are binned.
So up and down a roller coaster ride
I travel round in circles through the years
One moment filled with arrogance and pride
The next consumed by cowardice and fears.
Yes being human is a bit like this,
A search for eight beatitudes and bliss.

116 (24.11.2014)

Black silhouette of trees against the sky
The blue of childhood fashioned behind cloud
The wispy weight of brightest days gone by
A flaming yellow, burning, orange shroud.
I want the world to be like this again
For winter days to beautifully depart
Beneath the silver, sliver moon explain
About the words tattooed inside your heart
'Cause what else is there in the world to do
But contemplate the sunset going down
Alone we stand and wonder at the view
As darkness spreads its fingers through the town.
Another day now dusted beyond change,
Has slipped into the past and out of range.

115 (23.11.2014)

How do I get this album off my phone?
Fucking U2 who do they think they are?
How dare they come to me when I'm alone,
And jump out of the speakers in my car.
We've all got something that we want to sell,
So did they have to pay to get that done?
It brings to mind corruption and the smell
Of wealthy men who wish the poor had fun,
Who want to show the world how much they care,
And want to make sure everyone can see
That charity begins when people share
And there's no end to generosity.
Millionaires who work sometimes pro bono
Fuck your songs and get them off my phono.

114 (22.11.2014)

Hi Sebastian, are you thinking of me?
I'm thinking of you right now and miss you.
Wish we could go for a swim in the sea,
Or for a run and this time I'll beat you,
Or maybe not, but I might do one day.
From children's mouths come truthful words and pain,
At the station you said "You could just stay..."
And you and Olie ran beside the train,
And then your dad was gone into the dark
And your brother and you walked home alone
To your mum's flat across the windy park,
And waited many days for me to phone.
And I was just iniquity and sin,
With devils burning nails beneath my skin.

113 (21.11.2014)

This is the end of all that was before,
And all that's still to come has fallen through
A gap between the spaces in the floor
That just appeared as I was leaving you.
And there were things that I tried to disguise
And there were feelings somewhere in between
That both of us had failed to recognize
That might have helped us if they had been seen
But we were just too stupid and unkind,
And now, though we are trying, it's all gone
And even though we search we'll never find
The thing that made us smile when looked upon,
And gave a joyful meaning to it all.
So now we stumble blindly and we fall.

112 (20.11.2014)

Now take that crown from off my head and let
Me mess around, because I have been think-
Ing too much lately and now I want some
Fun. What can I use to rhyme with 'think'? Ink.
I am so sick of love right now that I
Will not write those four letters for a while
Though it be blazoned all across the sky
I will not say the word but simply smile.
Don't I deserve a day when I just sit
And use words just because I like the sound
And like the noise they make when I just spit
And like when they so easily wrap around
My tongue when I am writing things for you,
And hoping that your brain enjoys them too.

111 (19.11.2014)

For where all else is lost, there love is found
And in the emptiness of life is light
And though there may be darkness all around
And fear and terror lurking in the night
Yet still love glides between all living things
And circles round the stars and through the air
And hope and happiness it gently brings
And plenty of itself for all to share.
So now I've tried to praise these things in man
I've made a little crown but must confess,
That though I've struggled on as best I can
There's things on earth I still wish to express
Like when an angel's tears fall from above...
So let's write seven sonnets about love.

110 (18.11.2014)

Since love, not death, will finally conquer all
We need not fear when trembling age ensues
And claws our eyes when we begin to fall
Into the chasm of the things we lose.
That love is smiling far above my head
And deep inside my deepest heart of hearts
Is comfort to me as I lie in bed
And listen gently as the day departs.
So love is solid comfort for me now
And love stops time from ticking out in space
And answers every question why and how
And disappears from view without a trace.
So love is in and out and all around,
For where all else is lost, there love is found.

109 (17.11.2014)

That love exists without the need of men
Is deftly said but difficult to prove,
Yet close your eyes and open them again
Are things the same or did the world just move?
The world revolves around a falling star
And that star falls through holes in outer space
In search of all the places where you are
And where all lovers long for your embrace.
And your embrace is like a blazing light
That shines outwards and in at the same time
And causes dark to be the whitest white
And merely mortal men to be sublime.
It matters not exactly how we fall
Since love, not death, will finally conquer all.

108 (16.11.2014)

That love's just chemicals inside the brain
Is often claimed by geriatric fools
Who think that love's just something taught in schools
And dreamers are ostensibly inane.
Then scientists to idiots explain
That like most quirks in weak genetic pools
All love conforms quite simply to the rules
And will be quashed when logics finally reign.
Neurotransmitters know I touch your hand,
And light the tiny stars behind your eyes
Which blaze across the universe and then
Leave scientists too dumb to understand,
And too earthbound to ever realise
That love exists without the need of men.

107 (15.11.2014)

Because its taste's so bitter and so sweet
Your love's like an addictive drug I'm on
Against which I have no chance to compete
I just think of your face and I am gone.
I'm floating on a wave of Crystal-meth
The ghost of morphine comes to sap my soul,
I hover between loving you and death
I'm lost in love and have no self control.
So I'm a junky whore and love's a drug,
And you're the heroine I must obey,
My smitten heart's a bullying pusher thug
And I must do what my emotions say.
Some people think, though I know they're insane,
That love's just chemicals inside the brain.

106 (14.11.2014)

All love is doubled when it's shared with two
And when once given is then twice returned
But feelings that I feel when close to you
At times can leave me just a bit concerned...
If you're more precious to me than the air
Then one day will I just forget to breathe?
If nothing else but you consumes my care
Then what would happen to me if you leave?
Would I be left a sad and trembling fool
Alone with my reflection in the night,
And wondering how a world so dark and cruel
Had once been filled with loving's tender light.
But maybe that's why love is such a treat,
Because its taste's so bitter and so sweet.

105 (13.11.2014)

So let's write seven sonnets about love
Starting today, for reasons I don't know
And wear them like a crown up high above
The heart where all my feelings start to show.
A little flicker from your softest eyes
A movement from your lips and I am gone
When I'm with you at last I recognise
The doubts I've crucified myself upon.
I spoon with you and cuddle up at night
There is a beacon shining in my life
You make the darkest, heaviest burdens light
Surrounding '...if...' is '...we...' my lovely wife.
Through ups and downs I walk this world with you
All love is doubled when it's shared with two.

104 (12.11.2014)

So what on earth’s a sonnet anyway?
A line or two of someone else’s thought,
In my school all I ever did was play
I just read books while all the rest got taught.
So what’s a sonnet then? Just fourteen lines,
Ten syllables in each and not a sy-
Llable more. Then you need some sort of rhymes
Or half rhymes are acceptable, maybe.
But rhymes and words are not really the point
It’s more an exorcism of your heart
Or if life’s expectations disappoint
A way to pick this sorry world apart.
You’ll write a sonnet far better than me
If you show clearly what’s inside of thee.

103 (11.11.2014)

I've greeted this day with a great big smile
With cheery good "Good morning!"s to you all
I've had a lovely day so far and while
I'm up I think that I will never fall.
The sun is shining and the sky is blue
The weather's perfect for this time of year
The only problem is I'm far from you
The world would be more brilliant were you here.
I wish that I could be with you right now
But time will pass and you will come back soon
I'd like to tell the world exactly how
My life with you's more precious than the moon.
Today has been the first in many days
To pass inside a gentle happy haze.

102 (10.11.2014)

I'm standing on a cliff and want to jump
I think angels will guide me gently down
But if I land with bloodied deadly bump
Then won't I look just like a stupid clown?
Can someone push me off so I can fly?
Or failing that get smashed upon the ground
I wish that I were brave enough to try
I'd like to be an angel flapping around.
If only I believed there was a point
A reason I should try to try again
That did not put my conscience out of joint
Or hit my psyche like a speeding train.
I'm scared to stay but also scared to go,
Often I doubt the things I think I know.

101 (09.11.2014)

If strangers came to England and did this:
Threw babies onto burning open fires
And taught that "...subjugation leads to bliss."
While cutting noses off with ragged pliers
Said "Heaven is for those who kindly wait."
And cut off ears and lips just for some fun
Preached that "the meek are first through heaven's gate"
And tortured millions saying "Thy will be done."
If armies came and blew our world to bits
And left us all belittled with remorse
And gouged out eyes and cut off women's tits.
Would we not wish for greater military force?
If silence brings us to a world of peace,
Then let it last and last and never cease.

100 (08.11.2014)

For you I write this hundredth sonnet now
My friend who's reading this somewhere today
A message from behind my furrowed brow
Through time and space to you from yesterday.
And everyone who ever raised a pen
And wrote ten syllables on fourteen lines
From Shakespeare to the meekest of all men
That wrestled words from heads like they were mines.
One thousand lines and then four hundred more
And fourteen thousand syllables all gone
But every day I revel in my chore
And love to think the thoughts I think upon.
From August till this cold November's day
A path of sonnets helped me on my way.

99 (07.11.2014)

Behind a film inside my eyes lies this:
Magnificent destruction of mankind
Unquenchable the silent serpent's hiss
Till all is gone and nothing's left to find.
And close the screamer's mouth or cut his tongue
A thousand times as cruel and crueler still
Behold the ghastly murder of the young,
Until there is none living left to kill.
First blasted on a burning fire of pain
Then drowned inside a boiling vat of tears,
While bleeding severed hands try to explain
This ghostly repetition to the years.
If we choose then we can make suffering cease
And man can live forever in glorious peace.

98 (06.11.2014)

Am I mental self deluding cock?
Am I a fool with my head up my arse?
Do I deserve my head upon the block?
Should I have my face stabbed with broken glass?
Just fold your ears up when you hear me call,
Turn blind away when I'm about to drown
Just give a gentle push and watch me fall
Inside my noose, from tallest tower in town.
Come make the world go black before my eyes,
Come take this burden from my bleeding hands
Will I be gone before you realise
The simple things that no one understands,
If you don't like the food just shoot the chef,
It's got to be his fault that you are deaf.

97 (05.11.2014)

At times all words seem strange and out of place
As though they don't exist or are not true
Like some strange mask that's placed upon a face
Distorting all realities from view.
A line of letters placed upon a line,
All muddled up as if they're being words,
As if they are a light that we can shine,
Into the place where God is counting birds.
I die at night time when I close my eyes,
My tongue sees things that I don't understand
Into the moonlit night our language flies,
When all alone we focus on the land.
I bless the words that spill out on the page,
As though they are the opening of a cage.

96 (04.11.2014)

Broken I am but I know not what's wrong
The world it twists upon a yellow heel
Somewhere a voice echoes it can't be long
Before it's time to have the big reveal.
The colour yellow is my true love's hair,
Blue is the colour of the melting skies
Little they know, the people who do care
How scared the world looks through these sorryed eyes.
When all the world is run by civil law
And all we know is war concealed in peace
Does this mean things are better than before
If we close up our eyes and seeing cease?
Today is such a blue and sunny day,
Why is it I see nothing but decay?

95 (03.11.2014)

When war's a hungry dog with baying teeth
Whose eyes are burning fire in the night
And we hear voices call from far beneath
Our stumbling feet that stuck impede our flight.
We danced into the darkness fellow man
We did what we were told that we should do
We went along with someone else's plan
And never stopped to think it carefully through.
King in parlour counts his bread and honey,
Queen balanced on a jar to calm her nerve
Princes in their chamber eating money
It's hard to hit those targets when they swerve.
I try by best to not let feelings stray,
The life you've got's too good to throw away.

94 (02.11.2014)

Have I told you lately that I love you?
Or told you that you're all that's in my heart?
Said "...I love..." when really I don't have to?
Since you know I exist not when we part.
Hold my hand and I can feel completeness
Within your reach I am entire and whole
But if you leave, crumbling in my weakness,
I am a ghost without a living soul.
Rest with me and love me till forever
Come stitch your life with mine eternally
Time can try its hardest but will never
Come close to breaking what I feel for thee
The seasons shift, they come and then they leave,
But love remains the same when hearts believe.

93 (01.11.2014)

Things they fall to pieces all around me
The dishwasher is gone, the fridge is broke
Hear the news and think that it's just funny
The way the world is going up in smoke.
The TV's smashed the toilet's got a leak
And three of my guitar strings broke last night
There's something wrong with being Tony Peek
He broke his nose at boxing in a fight.
In summer my feet crack but now their soft
Old socks and shoes they keep the sweat about,
The rats have bit through wires in the loft
And now it's dark 'cause all the lights are out.
There's too much going on inside me head,
I might just call it quits and go to bed.