61 (30.09.2014)

In fairest Amberley I took my rest
And by strange chance did happen on an inn
As I did travel Sussex East to West
In search of where my real life should begin.
And in a room inside this place I found
Three travellers there like me beyond their choice
Four men in one room sheltered beneath sound
Four separate souls all singing with one voice.
Each quarter of this world in one confides
A song carved from the deepest well of words
A story told from fourteen thousand sides
And thrown to seed a field of yellow birds
Whose flaming wings lift each note to the sun
Then sing back to the world "All life is one."

60 (29.09.2014)

I have not even the slightest tiny doubt
That when I wake the sun will still be there
Nor do I feel the need to scream and shout
For I grow wings as I fall through the air.
And when I land, I land as soft as sheep
And when I run, I run as well as rain
And when I win, I win as hard as sleep
And when I draw, I draw without a stain.
For blesséd is the rain that falls on me,
And blesséd is the sun that on me shines
And blesséd is the word that sets me free
And blesséd is the space between all lines.
So bow down now and feel the salty breath,
Of all the world beholden unto death.

59 (28.09.2014)

Ambition is a sword of happiness
Which cuts the holder and then steals his time.
So why is it I feel I should confess
When hard work and desire is all my crime?
The minutes shrink and seconds become days,
The hours run away like rabbits scared
And months and years pass by me in a haze
The things we wish to do stay unprepared.
A list as long as any busy arm
Do this, do that, and scurry to and fro
Ambition is the fruit of all my harm
Barbed hooks that rip my flesh and won't let go.
Though they say, "What you give is what you get."
I long to press a button and forget.

58 (27.09.2014)

I don't think I can write a word today
It's all a little pointless isn't it?
Go back to bed, let two times twelve hours stray,
All effort is a slippery sided pit.
So close my eyes and dream a dream of you
And what it took for you to be curtailed,
Did no one ever question what you do,
I know they said your greatest work had failed?
I don't suppose you had statistics then
Just places in the hearts or tickets sold
The sad, sad sorry ways of little men
To measure everything in terms of gold.
It's like a joke but if we want to eat,
Somehow or other we must make ends meet

57 (26.09.2014)

Time is relative and also your love
I step into a room and both stand still
The sun, in space, is motionless above
And thoughts of you all thoughts in my head fill.
Yes time and love walk hand in hand like us,
As relativism in lingering lovers' minds
We take control, or don't, and make a fuss
Yet each of us the other still refines.
I look around and slow time with a thought
You turn to me, the whole world disappears,
And everything that love has ever taught
Is strengthened in a wounded lover's tears.
So I love you in quarrel and in peace
And though time stop our love will never cease.

56 (25.09.2014)

The world is spinning just before my eyes
One simple step is all it needs to be
Just stand up now and say all my goodbyes
And walk away, don't look back, and be free.
I'm stuck inside a world of yesterday,
But all that holds me back is only fear
What can I do to make it go away?
A leap of faith is far and yet so near;
If we have mental strength and we believe
If we know we can do what must be done
Why can't we just stand up and simply leave
And watch our fears fall from us one by one?
For he who talks and talks but does not do
Is worth far less than he who follows through.

55 (24.09.2014)

Doubt kills more dreams than failure has ever
So just have faith in this thing that you love
Know you can do it, never say never
Know that a passion is sent from above.
Beware the thoughts of negative people
Be wary of thoughts deep inside yourself
Keep struggling on, eyes on the steeple
Understand money's no measure of wealth.
Each day do something to bring the goal near
Work and then work and then work a bit more
Keep moving on and watch doubt disappear
Work is not work if it's what we adore.
For no goal was ever left unachieved,
When a man worked hard and also believed.

54 (23.09.2014)

Tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny creature
More tiny than the tiniest speck of dust
There inside some long magazine feature
Article on death and killing and lust.
This tiny fleck moves fast across the page,
Then glides right down to where the centre's creased
And something in my brain starts to engage
And words and rhymes are gradually released.
The idea for a sonnet comes to mind,
I think I'll write about the size of you
And everything that here on earth we find
That makes us feel our puzzlement anew.
I look back down and for an instant see
You walk across the word "...eternity..."

53 (22.09.2014)

A trader I will be and trade in Love
And little words I spread out on the page
And songs I sing that echo far above
And come back to me as a living wage.
A trader I will be and trade in smiles
And trade in happiness and happy news
I'll keep that joyfulness in little files
And hand it out when people get the blues.
A trader I will be and trade in peace
And armaments that do no one no harm
I'll trade so well that every war will cease
And enemy and friend walk arm in arm.
A trader I will be and have no fear,
For I can do no wrong when you are near.

52 (21.09.2014)

We drop like flies inside the house of sick
The last man standing happens to be me,
The bug wants me but I'm too fast and quick
Too busy cleaning vomit, can't you see?
A little thing has grabbed them one by one
And spilled their insides out upon the floor
A sickness bug just trying to have some fun,
Five people down, and I will be one more.
I feel inside the place where sickness stemmed,
Sit waiting for convulsions in me too,
The fact that soon to vomit I'm condemned
Will not make it more pleasant when I do.
The family is close and all is well,
We've spent a joyful day in vomit hell.

51 (20.09.2014)

Some beans on toast, a glass of cold champagne
September nights grow darker every day
Sit outside waiting for the winter's rain
To wash the fading summer's sun away.
The seasons have been good for such a while
The winter's coming but who really cares?
Those snowy storms so often make us smile
And summer's sun the winter also shares.
The world is dark, lost and kind of mirthless
At times it's like we're stranded in a tree
Things we care the most about are worthless
No one could buy the love I feel for thee.
An empty plate and then an empty glass,
Sit back, relax and let the seasons pass

50 (19.09.2014)

We settle down in silence and we wait
And twenty seconds tick their gentle way
Beyond my reach and once more through the gate
To greet the minutes of another day.
The minutes of the days rush into weeks,
The weeks collide with months and turn to years,
A year turns to a decade and it speaks
Of foolish worries and more foolish fears.
The minutes will not stop but I am calm,
The seconds are a friend when I'm in need,
The hours do not wish to do me harm,
Nor do the months conspire to make me bleed.
I'll get my lottery ticket and I'll see
If I can conquer time or conquered be.

49 (18.09.2014)

If I could fly away right now I would
Or climb upon the back of a great swan
And let it take me far from where I'm stood
Far, far away until at last I'm gone.
I don't want to be tired any more
I don't want to be yawning just like fools
I don't want to be wishing like before
I don't want to be bound by normal rules.
I'll pack my bags and drive back home to France.
Leave all my dumb possessions where they are.
Stand by that glorious river and just dance.
Give all my gentle wishes to a star.
Where is the little button I can press,
To give me strength to handle my distress?

48 (17.09.2014)

I have nothing to say to you today
Just go and click on something else instead,
I've never really liked you anyway
You sat there reading sonnets while I bled.
I cut some words out of a messed up heart
You read them like the bad luck that they were
Then you said "It's about time that you start
To slow down so that life's not such a blur..."
The world today has washed all words away
The sun's a golden leaf strewn on the ground
The middle of September's just like May
A mist sweeps the horizon without sound.
So it's all true those things you said you heard
I will not write another rhyming word.

47 (16.09.2014)

If I do nothing, surely I have sinned?
As surely as the rich who will not give.
Then my pretence of holiness is binned
With those who're given life but do not live.
A bully stops a young boy on the path
She knocks his books out of his tiny hands
Then she and her two friends begin to laugh
And push the little boy from where he stands.
I stop my bike and look back, then they go.
The boy bends down and gets his dusty books
There's things I'd like to say to him to show
That life is often easier than it looks.
I see a poor man suffering and pass by,
The devil drips delusion in my eye.

46 (15.09.2014)

I sit here now in perfect state of mind
My body works, I'm seated on a chair,
I know that if I don't look I will find
That things come to me floating through the air.
I long no more to see the way things are,
Nor do I strive to put my mind at rest.
I do not wish upon a fallen star
Nor do I feel, no more, that better's best.
I speak my peace and give the words some space
It's all a little pointless in the end,
There's no such thing as triumph or disgrace
There's nothing done that we did not intend.
And yet you say I'm dancing with a bell,
While walking through the corridors of hell.

45 (14.09.2014)

If you've some pearls you wish to throw away
I know some pigs that really like to eat,
But naturally they'll never want to pay
For morsels given as a tasty treat.
You struggle on through days and then a week,
You work at worthwhile things another year
You strive to reach the sacred highest peak
But fail again just as the end is near.
There is a thought of beauty in your mind
You clutch it close but then it can't be found
And all at once you see that you're inclined
To scatter pearls upon the muddy ground.
Though maybe it's not pearls, but seeds you throw
And worthwhile seeds might take some time to grow.

44 (13.09.2014)

We shop and shop and shop and shop and shop
And all our hard earned money's quickly gone
But then they lend us more so we don't stop
And we just carry on and on and on.
I need a brand new suit, you need a car,
We both need special trainers for our kids
But if we spend enough then we all are
Relieved of every freedom debt forbids.
I run around in circles like a slave
I'm weaved in webs of tiny sticking strands
I try hard not to think and just be brave
While money lenders rub their greedy hands,
They hold me down and will not let me go,
I am a slave to all the debts I owe.

43 (12.09.2014)

TV, some wine and something good to see
We lie down on the sofa close to sleep
As long as I am here and you're with me
There's no more need to threat or moan or weep.
Romance is now some moments left in peace
A chance to sit in silence holding you
While waiting for the wine to bring release
And let us, just for now, be just us two.
The TV stops me thinking of betrayal
A world that isn't always very fair
In which we try so hard, but often fail
To find another soul with which to share.
With which to share the moments of a day,
And every future moment, come what may.

42 (11.09.2014)

With all addictions gathering round my head
I take one at a time and have a look
At which will help me quickest to be dead
And on which ones I'd like my life to hook.
I bottle up my pleasures in an hour
The weeks slip by inside a drunken haze
Each placid month I hungrily devour
For twelve years I walk round inside a maze.
I'm not the same as he who was before
There's something in me changed, and I don't care
What matters has diminished more and more
And all alone I stumble in despair.
For nothing can be said now or be done
Those old addictions gathering round have won.

41 (10.09.2014)

I welcome silence back into my life
And close my eyes to feel the darkness fold
Around me like the costume of a wife
Who hits her peak at fifty-nine years old.
I close my eyes and do not speak a word
But wait until the silence comes to see
That wintertime has silenced every bird
Except the crow familiar still to me.
In darkest silence now I spend my time
Laid out inside my tiny little room
Just waiting for the evening bells to chime
And waiting for my silent heart to bloom.
A world within a world I spin around
And peace from all my worries have I found.

40 (09.09.2014)

When we sit talking just for talking's sake
And when it seems we say nothing at all
Do you not think that all language is fake
And words are made redundant as they fall
From your cracked lips or from your serpent's tongue?
I hear the things you say but can't make sense
Of any sentence that you have begun
I'm somehow deaf and tapped of all defence.
We talk and talk and talk and talk and talk
And every word is pointless, at its best,
Though yesterday, as we went for a walk,
You said something that maintained my interest
You said, I quote, "My wife's a bloody bitch...
I can't divorce her though... she'd get too rich."

39 (08.09.2014) (W word warning!)

Does your Romanian babysitter think
That she can fan the flames of your desire?
In her life now you're just the missing link
Between her wretched past and aiming higher.
She opens up her self to let you in
And rides you like she's riding on a horse
She smells the wealth that permeates your skin
And prays religiously for your divorce.
Of course you say it's only in your mind
As you lay wanking by your sleeping wife
Who's always been so caring and so kind
And more or less the best thing in your life.
But if there's chance and Rica wants to play
Will you succumb, or send her on her way?

38 (07.09.2014)

Sometimes it's like I do this in my sleep
Just get my pen and squiggle out some lines
But other days this hill is all too steep
And it's like slaving hours in the mines.
I try hard not to let it get me down
And struggle on despite having to try
Do I work hard or am I just a clown
Are my ideas of "...worthwhile..." just a lie?
I'd like to write some words to help you see
And try to wake you up a little bit
But maybe I should just be waking me
And stop acting like such a stupid git.
Sometimes I have nothing I want to say
And I want to express that in my way.

37 (06.09.2014)

In nature rabbits run round wild and free
And not in cages do they spend the night
They have no sense of their captivity
But make homes up in hills far out of sight.
Off in the wild they'd have kids of their own
They'd eat the grass and chew on bits of wood
But our two rabbits ate my brand new phone
And seem to think that books and chairs taste good.
They're antisocial, not much fun and smell
But everybody loves them except me,
They're pretty unintelligent as well
If only I could somehow set them free...
I'd love to let them go but it's no use
I can't think of a plausible excuse.

36 (05.09.2014)

Floppy dead badger lying in the road
No scuttling no more on the streets at night
But if you're hit again then you'll explode
Stop car, walk back and push you out of sight.
Body gives way against the toe of shoe
Roughly the weight of any little child
Smashed, bloodied jaw and eyes that spilt out too,
Moved it from road to where the verge grows wild.
After my first was born Neils made me brunch
And I would never be just me again,
And fatherhood was like some kind of punch
That knocked me out but left me in no pain.
I have no secrets from the world you see,
There's only this, my fears, my kids, and thee.

35 (04.09.2014)

Something about you pales the room we're in
Like there's a void that only you can fill
Your deep dark eyes are balancing on sin
Your youthful beauty's weakening all will.
Men salivating all around you now,
There's nothing left to look at in this room
Each man among them wishing he could plough
The furrow of the skin beneath your womb.
Those eyes are in my head and there they'll stay
They're brought back like a memory on the page
They stole the room where they were on display
And made the older half regret its age.
It must be hard for you to just make friends
When all around want you for their own ends.

34 (03.09.2014)

This old abandoned Lottery receipt
That I screw up and drop into a bin
When, two days later, we admit defeat
And ponder what it really means to win.
More time, I guess, and all that we desire
But maybe time just can't be stretched like that,
And when we stretch don't goals always get higher?
Aren't some rich people's lives just dull and flat?
But when luck comes, it comes and comes in droves
All sorrows are forgotten for a while
We buy new shoes and boots and brand new clothes
And everyone is greeted with a smile.
But though we didn't win I will not frown
Our love's more worth than all the wealth in town.

33 (02.09.2014)

There is a spot of numb inside my brain
A place that only sparks when I have slept
A dark and empty space where I'm insane
And where in tiredness often I have wept.
I try to touch the thing that's out of reach
And close my eyes attempting to force rest
But just can't stop the flow of inner speech
And voices in me laugh at my request.
Then when I sleep I do not know I'm there
And all too soon I wake and I am back
And I've forgotten all I had to share
And everything I saw has turned to black.
Then I walk numb and restless through the day
And struggle to keep weariness at bay.

32 (01.09.2014)

There is this thing that I know I can do
My little Everest just because it's there
That I climb up with feet covered in glue
To make something that all the world can share.
I create this and do expect returns
And worry not where these returns come from
Reward will always come to he who earns
Impatience is a tightly ticking bomb.
So read and read and read and write and write
And write and write and write and read and read
True faith is the persistence found in fight
The will unstoppable can but succeed
Such optimism and audacity
No shadow of a doubt inside of me.